Changing meds

Not good at all @Eve7 I'll survive. 💞

Hope you get some sleep tonight @Former-Member

💜💜💜

Hello my special friend @WIP

I'm here to remind you that you are one hell of a good friend and I value that more than words can express.

My heart breaks that you are still suffering so very much, I am so sorry. I pray that Mondays appointment helps.

On my walk with my boy yesterday we talked about his diagnosis. One that took 18 months and many hospitalisations, disapproving nurses, medical "professionals", meds, disasters, tears from me etc, etc...and he told me a friend he met in hospital was finally diagnosed yesterday after many months.

He said to me, I only ever cried in my pdoc appointment when I was given my diagnosis. Such a burden to carry. My heart broke a little more.

I don't know why I just wrote that other than perhaps to pass on some hope to you as he has come such a long way when at one point he felt like giving up as there was no tomorrow. I wish for a bright future for you L. I feel from the depts of my being that you'll have one. It's such a shitty situation right now.

Can I just say I do love you and I love our friendship and I'm here for you just a tag away. 🙏❤️🐕💪🤗❣️

My lovely friend @Anastasia

Thank you for your kind message. It's so nice to hear that you and your son have such open conversations out when you are walking.

I won't deny it, I'm truely struggling at the moment and I'm scared. I'm all on my own and it's hard, really hard. I can't see a future and each day is so very difficult. I cry most of the day and my anti anxiety meds barely take the edge off, so I'm in crisis mode most of the day too. My pdoc has a said he's going to stop prescribing them soon anyway. I really don't know what I'll do then....

I actually don't know what to do at the moment. I wake only to count the minutes down till it's nightfall and I can sleep again.

I thank you for your kind message. It's nice to know that someone out there is thinking of me.

I hope you've had a nice weekend, my friend. Xx

@WIP

Love you L and Levi

@WIP

💞🐕💞🐕

Hi gorgeous @Anastasia

How are you doing? I hope a little better than the past week....

I'm still low - last week, nearly every day I was in crisis. Calls to the crisis helpline, a 'near' incident, talk of being admitted to hospital for a week...

There's a tad improvement this week. I had a psychologist appt F2F on Monday and it was good. I talked the whole time, but she's really lovely. At the end of the session, she showed me her notes to see if I agreed with what she'd taken down, which I thought was really good. She was very accurate with her 'psychologist' note taking. We have the 'bones of a plan' moving forward, which peovides some level of comfort. I just have to keep myself together in between sessions.

My sister isn't talking to me though. She text last night, saying she's had bad anxiety the past couple of weeks and needs to clear her head and concentrate on her kids. Which was code for, 'You're too much to deal with atm, so I can't help'. She actually did say, I can't support you right now at the end of her text. So I didn't sleep well last night & feel pretty unloved atm. In the back of my head I've always said she wouldn't be there when the chips are down, and now I know. Her belief of family & what you do for family is vastly different than mine - Always has been. It's funny, we spoke of her during my psych session -that she's one end of the emotional/intuitive spectrum and I'm right up the other end.

Sorry, I've babbled on a lot. I just feel you'll always listen to me.

I really hope there's some happy in your day, even if it's just a glimmer.

Love you,

L & Levi ❣️🐶❣️🐶

Here with you @WIP and it sounds as if you’ve found the right psychologist which is great especially at this time of year.

I really hope you and Levi have a much better day today.

❤️💚❤️

Thanks for saying your here with me @Eve7

That helps more than you probably realise.

It is really good I've found potentially the right psychologist. I'm still cautious, after a full year of searching and being let down. 'A full year' - what a bloody waste!!! Anyway, I'm holding some hope she can help - cause I need it. Mum doesn't know what to do with me. & my sister has written me off (no surprise). I can't do this on my own.

This psych isn't taking time off over Christmas, but our sessions will be via zoom for the next few weeks - better than nothing.

Im so glad you are back, I was worried and missed you. I hope better days are ahead for you.

Hi beautiful, I am about to go into a "meeting" (my massage)

I do hear you and I will come back after to respond properly, love you too @WIP @Eve7