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Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I watch a bit of tv @WIP . I’ve seen Law and Irder but I also like the British crime shows such as Midsomer Murders and Father Brown.

My concentration isn’t very good atm

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I've heard a bit about both those shows you've mentioned. I also like Law & Order because it's filmed in NYC - my favourite city in the world. I enjoy seeing the scenery etc. Blue Bloods is another good one.

My concentration isn't the best either @Eve7

Id really like to be able to read books more than I do, but I don't get past a few pages.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I know what you mean about reading @WIP but I have managed to read a book recently. It was Girl on the Edge by Kim Hodges. The first chapter was a bit triggering but her story was very interesting. She’s written another called Girl Over the Edge and I hope to read that too.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I've just looked up both books by Kim Hodges. I think I'd enjoy her 2nd one better.

Let me know if you end up reading it @Eve7

Well Done on completing her first novel!

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I think the first book will set the understanding of her mh issues @WIP She grew up in a small NSW country town of only 900 people.

Im reserving the next book at the library.

In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

HEy @Eve7 @WIP bit all over the place today. Anxiously waiting for my daughter to get home from her fathers. I’ve been painting this arvo to try and keep me mind busy.

I have a work meeting tomorrow that I don’t want to go to.

Hope yall are alright

In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@WIP @Eve7 💕🤗

I love most of those crime shows too. Law & Order - SVU (it is a show about a Special Victims Unit which investigates sexually based crimes) is sometimes very triggering for me unfortunately. So I have to be very careful which episodes I watch. It is a good show in general however, and is a very long running series.

Today I have been watching some cricket on tele and doing some of my diamond painting. Trying to distract myself from other things coming up on Tuesday.

Sounds like you are both marginally better than the previous couple of days. I'm glad.

Emelia 🌺💖

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @Bow

Waiting for your daughter to arrive home must just drag on and on. I hope she arrives home in happy spirits and your can enjoy the evening together.

Good on you for painting this afternoon to help the time pass. I've got a new psychologist appt tomorrow. I'm trying not to worry too much, but I've had such bad experiences with new ones, so I'm sort of expecting the worst - which isn't the attitude I should have.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Sorry @Emelia8 that the mention of SVU could be triggering - I really apologise, sorry! I usually don't follow the story lines closely, it's the NYC scenery that I love. Again, I'm sorry if I triggered you.

Ive ordered some diamond painting kits online and anxiously waiting for the to arrive. I need some distraction and something to build my concentration.

Have you had a nice anniversary? - I really hope so 😊

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @Bow I hope your precious girl has arrived home safe and sound into her mummy’s arms.

Well done on keeping yourself busy today. You’re a champion!

💜💚💜

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