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Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thanks @Jynx

I know and value that you are here to hold hope for me. There's not many days anymore that I have any glimmer of hope of my own.
This just isn't a nice way to live - it's bloody torturous.

In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thanks for the 'support' button @Emelia8 🌻🦋

In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I am sure your mum would miss you very much @WIP .

I don’t want to say anything that doesn’t seem genuine so I’m just saying I’m here listening and hoping for both of us.

🤗🤗

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I'm sure Mum would miss me, but she's got my sister and her grand kids interstate.

I was hurting so much the other week while on the phone to her, I just begged her to let me go. She IS the only reason I stay here. I was in such a state of dispair. I'm in that state very often these days.

It's not fair that I'm such a burden on her @Eve7

Thank you for being here with me - I know you're doing it really tough too. I don't want to upset you.

Today is just a really, really sucky day!! 😢

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I am still here with you @WIP and you know I’m in a safe place so I can listen to you and offer support.

Please stay safe for you hun. Even when we’re in the deepest pit it doesn’t always last and then we see some light again to lead us on our journey forward.

I care about you and wish I could share my lpdoc’s YouTube channel with you but that’s not possible.

Lets have a cuppa together....and a chocolate 🍫

💙💙💙

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thinking of you @WIP sounds like a really difficult place you are in at the moment.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thank you gorgeous @Eve7

I know I'll survive this awful day, I always do. Sometimes it just feel impossible and not worth it.

Your pdocs YouTube channel sounds great - shame you can't share it ☹️ Is that because of your pdoc, or the guidelines here? I wonder if the moderators could approve it privately? (I'm desperate for any help - can you tell....)

My sister unexpectedly just called - she never does, as MI is 'too much for her'. I got to chat quickly with the kids, so that was nice. There has been a little glimmer of sparkle in my day after all.

I miss Mr 9yo & Miss 5yo so much, I physically hurt. They were the best medicine for me when they still lived in Melbs.

I'll never turn chocolate down - thank U. Bit too late for a coffee tho, have enough trouble sleeping as it is.

Thanks lovely - with all you've got on your plate - to show compassion towards me is lovely. You're a very good person @Eve7

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thanks @Bow

I don't think we've met before - I appreciate your kind thoughts.

Hugs,

WIP

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Don’t think so either @WIP , nice to meet you too 🙂

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @Eve7

I'm really sorry if I've upset you in any way....

I'm signing off for the night. I hope you get some restful sleep. Thank you for being there for me. xx

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