Changing meds

Morning @Eve7

Glad to the all went well for you y'day - I hope it continues today 🧡

I'm struggling a little bit, but trying to push through.

Hugs and kindness to you @WIP sitting with you this morning.

I’m just tired of everything today but will make an effort to engage and be in the present.

I hope you can get some enjoyment today.

💙🤗💙

Thanks gorgeous @Eve7

I know what you mean feeling tired of everything - I feel that was a lot of the time!
I'm tired of this bloody illness and just wish I could get some respite from it. I put in the effort to try and get better, but unfairly don't get the results - and if I do, they are short lived.

Maybe I don't put in enough effort - well,

compared to you, I don't. You're amazing giving ECT another go & attending groups making the most out of your hospital admission. I won't do ECT again, maybe TMS.

I'll try to do the same as you today and engage in the present. I've already caught myself worrying about 2 medical appointment I have next week.

Being present can be hard to do sometimes.

Sorry, I just got babbling away there.

Will you have some visitors this weekend?

🌻🦋

@WIP @Eve7 @Anastasia 💕🐶🤗🌸

Emelia

I know @WIP it is so very hard to be in the present when our minds are racing ahead all the time.

I’m struggling to just get up and wash my hair but I told pdoc I’d go to a group this morning about living with depression.

I don’t know if I’ll have visitors apart from my son. My leave request was denied so I’m stuck here.

I hope you can go for a walk and tell me about it.

💙💚💙

I hope you make it to group @Eve7

You'll feel better after washing your hair, but I appreciate it could feel like an effort. I'm putting doing mine off till tomorrow.

I'm disappointed for you that your leave got refused ☹️ You must experience feeling a bit trapped at times. I hope your son comes to visit though.

🦋🌻

I don't think I've got what it takes to survive with this illness. I won't recover from it, I'm not sure I can continue to live with it.

Depression is the most unpleasant thing I have ever experienced...it is the absence of being able to envisage that I will ever be cheerful again, have a sparkle in my eye again.
The absence of hope. The absence of strength. The absence of self-worth. The absence to see the future.

That very deadened feeling, which is so very different from sad. Sad hurts, it's a natural feeling. Depression is much different. It hurts you physically, mentally and spiritually - you ache, from the moment you open your eyes in the morning, till you can finally close them again at night.
I have felt this way continually for months, blending into years. There's just a varying degree of hurt each day. How dark will things be today? Bleak, grey or black - that's what is on offer.

I'm feeling very disheartened today. Sorry.

I don’t know what to say @WIP other than I am hearing you and I totally get it.

Can you just hold on for one moment at a time and not think about the pain of tomorrow that may not eventuate?

I’m sorry it’s so hard.

Hugs from me

💙🤗💙🤗💙🤗💙

@WIP I'm so sorry. Apathy is a thief of life. Like a leech it saps our strength and resolve.

I don't have much else to offer, except to say we're here with you, and we hold hope for you, especially on those days where you just can't see it.

That's all I feel I do @Eve7 - 'just hold on one moment at a time'. It's challenging feeling this low all the time.

I know you get how I feel.

I don't have any family support or friends, so it's extra tough on my own. No one would miss me if I wasn't here. Mum would get to live her life, rather than worrying about me all the time. It's not fair what I'm doing to her. She's starting to really understand how much I hurt and struggle every single day.

Each night I tell myself, 'tomorrow will be a bit better, things can't get worse'. But I don't feel that way when I wake up 😢

Thanks for your hugs - greatly appreciated 🤗🤗