Changing meds

Oh @WIP . I just want to be able to sit with you...not necessarily speak, but just to sit and be with someone in need. I visualise just sitting and watching the sunrise/set.

I'm sorry to hear things are so difficult at the moment. Juggling meds is quite tricking seeing as our bodies are all different. During my despressive years, I tried countless anti-depressants which simply did not work. Some made me go up, some made me go down, and others just made me go round and round. Adding to that, I was very stubborn and against meds. These were some of my worse years during my MH journey. I don't regret that part of my life, but I am definitely happy that I've turned that page. It doesn't sound like you are at this stage though. It seems more that you just don't know what works. I hope you do find something that works, because then you can focus on recovery. Being in the thick of things makes it hard to see recovery.

We are with you in this. Please be kind you yourself. Are there ways you can put a bit of space between you and the negative thoughts? Perhaps acknowledging that your thoughts are simply thoughts and do not actually label you as a bad person? e.g. 'I'm thinking the thought that.....', as opposed to 'I am ....because....'.

Sorry, I'm just throwing some ideas out because it sounds like you just need to cling to one big bear hug. It's okay to cry.

COVID-free hugs to you.

BPDSurvivor

Oh @BPDSurvivor Thank you so very much. I'm sitting here crying and your kind words are helping. So is your big bear hug.

Today, I'm just numb. The negative thoughts are there always and I find myself just staring into space, not having a clue what to do. I walk into a room and forget what I was going in there for. The littlest things just set me off. That I forgot my password for something on my Desktop PC, that I use on my phone all the time - was just too much to cope with. I fell off the chair onto the floor crying.

It'll be two weeks on Monday since starting these new meds and I feel worse. I have an appt with the psych on Wednesday and who knows what he'll suggest medication wise. I know he's going to want to put me in hospital, but I don't want to go. The nurses don't give me enough of my anti-anxiety meds, so I'd spend the whole day crying, they give you your sleep med at 8pm, when you aren't ready for bed, then get woken up every hour when they shine a torch in your face to make sure you haven't done anything to yourself.

I really don't know if I can do this. I'm going crazy and am just so miserable - if there is a word to describe feeling worse than miserable, then that's what I am.

Recovery doesn't appear possible at the moment. The dark hole I am in, let's no light or hope in.

Thanks for listening.

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@WIP wrote:

I really don't know if I can do this. I'm going crazy and am just so miserable - if there is a word to describe feeling worse than miserable, then that's what I am.

Recovery doesn't appear possible at the moment. The dark hole I am in, let's no light or hope in.

Thanks for listening.

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I feel for you, @WIP ...I'm wishing for that light and hope that you're missing, plus strength to endure till better days come. We are here to listen and support you through it.

Hello @WIP

It sounds like you are in a very dark place this afternoon WIP . No light or hope sounds most bleak. I am concerned about your safety and wonder if you are in need of support off the forums.

Please consider reaching out to a help line today if you are not able to keep safe.

I'm sitting next to you now @WIP . I'm giving you a BIG hug. You are crying, but that's okay. I'm not talking, but I can feel your distress. You don't need to speak either because I've been in that place before. Words cannot describe the darkness.

You cannot see the light at this point because the dark cloud is over your eyes, but I can. From where I am, I can see the dark cloud covering your eyes and hindering your vision, yet all around is light. Just hold on @WIP . The dark cloud will lift and you'll be able to see glimpses of light. The more space you find between the cloud and your eyes, the more light is able to penetrate.

Your thoughts are not negative. They are thoughts. They are neither good nor bad. Let the thoughts come, let the thoughts go.

You are stronger than you think!

I am here with you, seeing you through.

Hugs,

BPDSurvivor

Thanks @Former-Member

I've been like this for 2 weeks and have on seperate occasions contacted Lifeline and SANEs crisis line.

i feel like a burden calling again, going over the same problem/issue.

I'll try my best to calm down - see if the footy can distract me.

Thanks for your concern

Hi @NatureLover

Sorry, I don't think I acknowledged your suggestion of 'dog' threads.
Thanks.

When you say search bar, do you mean the magnifying glass icon at the top RHS of the site?

i think I'd very much enjoy threads that talk about ppl and their dogs 🐶

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@WIP wrote:

When you say search bar, do you mean the magnifying glass icon at the top RHS of the site?

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No, if you click on Lived Experience Forum at the top of the page, there should be a search bar a little way down the page 🙂

@WIP

Hi @Zoe7

How have you & your fur babies been travelling the past few days? Well, I hope.

Last night was the first night without a flashback from my police incident on Monday, mind you I didn't get to sleep until 4am.....

I've still got Levi with me. I was talking nonsense when I said I should surrender him to Mum. He's one of the only things that keeps me going atm. He made a big accomplishment earlier today - he can jump up into my bed by himself now. He was pretty happy with himself.