Changing meds

@WIP It takes a lot of courage and strength to reach out. You do not burden us here. Having insecurities and weaknesses reminds us that we are human. I'm sorry to hear about the episode on Monday. It certainly did not sound pleasant.

You are not alone in this. Many of us have lived experience here and continue to do so. Mental health has its ups and downs. That is the very nature of MH. If you find you've fallen off the perch, just hold on where you are and the dark cloud will eventually pass. We are here for you.

@MDT , I can hear you are betwixt two straits. Your thoughts about work are often like mine. Do I keep my job or do I just let it go? Ultimately, it came to the fact that although my job could be a pain sometimes, it helps me have somewhat order and routine in my life. It gives me responsibility, helps pay the bills, forces me out of the house to socialise. If I gave up my job, my days and nights would just roll into each other to the point where I wouldn't know whether I was Arthur or Martha.

If your job, despite being dissatisfying, causes you to press on, it's probably better you endure until you find something better. However, in the end, it's your choice.

Please all take care, especially Melbournians stuck in the thick of things. @WriterMelb @Zoe7 @NatureLover @Shaz51 @outlander @Former-Member @Former-Member @frog @eth @Judi9877

BPDSurvivor

Hi @WIP and others here @BPDSurvivor @WriterMelb @Zoe7 @MDT It's great to see the support you are finding here @WIP . Very sorry to hear about what you went through on Monday. I've been there on more than one occasion. It's pretty common for a welfare check to involve a mental health assessment. A couple of times when it happened for me it was triggered by something my mum said to them so I know what a betrayal that can feel like too. I have a "wellness recovery action plan" (works really well for me - you can google it) and have written into it that involving the police is likely to make me escalate further. Sometimes something apparently small like seeing your care for your dog's welfare can be enough to make the authority figure realise you have not lost your insight into reality. But opening the door to a uniform is simply awful, definitely a trigger for me.

Regarding finding helpful threads - you can use the search bar and type in key words of any topic you are searching for. You will then see a list of suggested threads. e.g. Coping Box Learning to accept bipolar type 2 Self-care management (during social distancing) (there are many about self-care) toolbox or the name of whatever your diagnosis is.

Unfortunately we are not able to talk about meds too specifically on these forums, but many of us have had challenges when adjusting to new ones How to Cope when Switching or Adjusting Meds might be a useful thread. I know that when I am taking something new my psychiatrist usually says it can take up to 6 weeks to really adjust and see whether it's working well for me. I know how frustrating this can be, but I also know it's been well worth persevering to get to the mix of meds and doses I take now. I've been much more stable for 2 1/2 years now than ever before in my life.

Take care. I hope any of those threads I've linked to can be helpful for you. Otherwise just have a play with the search bar. Recovery Model might be good to read too.

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@WIP wrote:

Very difficult time indeed.
Wide awake since 4am. Another day of hell ahead of me.

...

i hope to get through this, but reality each day is telling me things will NOT improve

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Hi @WIP ...sorry to read you didn't get much sleep. I remember the nightmare of that.

I think that you can get through this, and that things will improve. I know you have to wait for 6 weeks for the full effect of the new meds...am hoping they start to kick in very soon...in a few days it will be 2 weeks since you started on them, and hopefully they will start to take effect.

Thinking of you, @WIP ...

Thank you so much @NatureLover

It's been another awful morning of crying and howling, I'm trying to hang in there, but early signs are that this new Med isn't going to help.
I just wish I could calm down. I think I've used up for allowed amount of calls to Lifeline & SANE's help line, because I just talk about the same stuff each call.

im considering going into hospital, but very hesitant as my previous experience in a mental ward was awful. The nurses just let you cry and cry all day, locked in a room with a tiny window & no fresh air.

Hi @eth

Thank you for your very kind post. I've had an awful morning and your words of encouragement and hope, are helping to calm me a bit.

i just wish I could calm down and not cry all day every day. I wish I could sleep and turn my brain off for a little while. The negative voices are driving me crazy - that's what it feels like...

I'll check out the links to helpful threads/posts that you've provided. Thank you.

@BPDSurvivor Thank you.

Im desperately trying to hold on since I dropped off the perch. It's very dark & cloudy - I can't see or think straight. I don't recall the last high I had living with Mental Illness, the past 18 months to 2 years has been one big low.

Thats why I hoping so much that this new med makes an improvement. Early signs though, are that it's not. This is my final roll of the dice when it comes to medication, as over the years, I have tried every AD family.

im just taking it 10 minutes at a time at the moment.

thanks again for touching base

@WIP I'm sorry you're going through this, and also that your last hospital experience was bad.

It's good that you're calling the helplines when you need... I hope you can hang in there @WIP

Hey @WIP It took 20 years of one AD after another to convince the Dr's that I was actually having an adverse response to them. All of them despite different types. It's now in my clinical notes that I can't take any of them. But there are other types of meds that may well be helpful. For me it's a combination of mood stabilisers and anti-psychotics. Worth seeing a psychiatrist in my opinion. I was treated solely by a gp for 5 years post diagnosis with bipolar 1 and it wasn't until she left suddenly and I saw a new one that I was immediately referred to a psychiatrist who changed my meds straight away and I've gradually become more stable as they've been tweaked ever since (another 6 years). The current cocktail has kept me stable for 2 1/2 years now, no major mood swings either depression or mania. Of course this is in combination with psychology and self-monitoring.

Hope this is helpful and passes moderation. We can only talk about meds in the most general of terms within forum guidelines.

Hello again @WIP I share most of your experiences that you just mentioned (except for the ECT - I don't ever want that). Such a hard year for you. I really relate to the memory loss and the weight issue. I hope the new psychiatrist is a better match for you. And also want you to know that if you do want a new psychologist it's still worth trying for one in these times. My long-standing one had to take maternity leave earlier than she thought and left quite suddenly in March. I google searched for local psychologists with trauma experience, and preferably with EMDR as part of their approach. Spoke to several clinics and eventually found one that seemed preferable. I contacted her and she spoke to me in person rather than just one of her admin people, which was a tick for her. And then she was also recommended by one of my friends from the community disability alliance in my town so that was another tick. She agreed to take me on tho' her books were full, I just had to wait a few weeks for the first appointment. She's turned out to be well worth the wait and I've now had telehealth facetime appointments with her 5 times. So it's worth persevering in my opinion. You have the right to choose your health team.

Hi @eth

just reposting to be within guidelines.

Sounds like we are similar in our AD journey. I had been seeing a wonderful psychiatrist since my mid 20s and he went and retired on me. Unfortunatley my new one, is big into TMS & ECT, rather than meds. So we tried both of those last year (as I was going a through a massive depressive episode after the death of my father, job being made redundant & then the death of my 14 yo fur baby - I'm single & he was my child. I guess I'm still in that depressive episode, as I'm no better, but worse).
Anyway, my experience with ECT was the worst thing I could have done, as it set me backwards and I'm still recovering from it. I lost nearly all memory of last year - including the death of my father, which is extremely difficult to accept. I have patches of memory coming back, but in general don't remember much at all.
He also put me in a really high dose of antipsychotics that made me loose my personality & gain a significant amount of weight. That did wonders for my depression, I can tell you! It took me 6 months for him to let me start reducing the antipsychotic dose down & took a further 3 to get off it. I'm still carrying the weight, and struggle to move it.
So now we are trying the MAOI family of ADs, as a last resort. Early signs are that it's not going to work, so I may need a mood stabiliser inconjunction. I miss my previous psychiatrist so much, he was so compassionate and explained any new medication in great detail before prescribing it.

I'm not happy with this current psychiatrist and are booked in to see a female one late next month. I see a psychologist, but she's pretty anti medication and big on talk therapy. She sort of has a belief that depression is a choice & I can snap out of it, so I'm not really enjoying seeing her. I'd love a recommendation for a new psychologist, but they are so busy atm with covid affected patients.
I hope to finally get the right cocktail of meds to suit me, so I can become more stable and actually enjoy life.

sorry moderators if this content isn't allowed, Hope it is though.

cheers!