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Something’s not right

Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Love you both @Eve7 @WIP

💞💞

In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @WIP my post was removed. It seems you can mention something but I can’t...oh well such is life!

💙💚💙

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

No, don't stress - mine was removed too, you just got to read it before it was taken down.

Sorry, I didn't mean for you to feel as though what I said was ok in comparison to what you said.

At least we both understand what each other meant 😉

How are you going today? Feeling ok about ECT 2mrw?

Thinking of you,

WIP 🧡🤗

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi everyone!

How are you all?

@WIP @Eve7 @Anastasia

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi lovely,

I am doing ok today thank you. Not much to report, but that is a good thing. How about you are you well? @BPDSurvivor

@WIP @Eve7

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @WIP ... I have been reading about your desire to commence volunteer work on (I think) @NatureLover thread.

I think thats wonderful that you are hoping to do that. I volunteer in a nursing home, and have done for over 11 years now. I am what is called a Community Visitor (though it could be called something else in other states) where a visitor is matched according to interests etc with a nursing home resident. And you become their friend essentially, and visit them every week. Most of these people have no other visitors, so you become very important to them. I have to say that you also become very attached to them, so thats something you need to be prepared for. I have attended 4 funerals of 'my residents'. But I take pride knowing that I have helped to make their last days/months/ years much less lonely than they would have been otherwise. It is very much a feel-good thing to do, is good for the soul and is really very enjoyable.

I used to take my little dog with me sometimes too. All the residents used to make a big fuss about her. I had permission from the home to take her because she is very well behaved, and quiet. The nursing home I go to does have pet therapy as well, and I attended a couple of their sessions with my girl. She fitted right in.

So now that COVID restrictions are easing, I really hope that some opportunities open up for you. Definitely something to strive towards. In my experience they are always looking for volunteers, so I'm sure once things get back to semi normality, you will find a way. Perhaps your doggie is a bit immature and exhuberant right now, but in time I'm sure he will fit right in. Just have to be a bit careful during puppy stages. And also when they become aged, such as in my dogs case. She is nearly 12 now and quite deaf, so can be easily startled. Sadly I dont take her any more, as its become a bit much for her lately.

Hi also to @Anastasia @Eve7 @Snowie @BPDSurvivor

Emelia 🌸

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @Anastasia ,

Warm in Melbourne today. I had to take a day off work today because I had a sore back. It's slightly better now. At least I can walk!

Melbourne Cup Public Holiday tomorrow. Another warm day. If I'm well enough, I'm hoping to go for a walk along the beach tomorrow.

I'm just catching up with work otherwise.

Hugs,

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

All ok @WIP with that post yesterday.

I had a bit of a rough morning after ECT then was triggered in a group but settled now.

How has your day been?

Hello @BPDSurvivor thanks for the tag. Hope you’re well.

❤️🧡❤️

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hey @Eve7

So sorry to hear you were a bit rough after ECT this morning, I found that was always the case for me after my treatment. Good on you for making group, even though you weren't feeling great - but also sorry you were triggered, which would have made your afternoon a bit worse. It's a shame, cause you made the effort to attend group after a tough morning, but it didn't work out for you. Did you stay for the entire session or leave early?

At least tomorrow isn't a treatment day & you can concentrate on yourself and what you know will help you feel ok.

Im so proud of you for being so brave and going through this treatment and still having the strength to attend groups! Go team @Eve7 !!

😊🧡

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Aww thank you @WIP Your kind words have made my day. I left the group early in a flood of tears but I’m ok now after managing to do an entry in my “grateful journal”. I think I’ll call it my Pollyanna book lol

How has your day been my friend?

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