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Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor15 July 2020, 11:14 am AEST

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

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In response to: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor27 Oct 2020, 4:16 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Hi @BPDSurvivor

Thanks for asking - I'm not really ok - just trying my best to get through the days.

In response to: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor27 Oct 2020, 4:18 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Thanks for your kind thoughts @Eve7

I hope things are improving with you 💕

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Eve7Senior Contributor27 Oct 2020, 4:23 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

I started ECT yesterday. Feeling very isolated @WIP

Please take care of you 💙💙💙

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Eve7Senior Contributor27 Oct 2020, 4:43 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Hugs @Snowie

In response to: Re: Changing meds

SnowieSenior Contributor27 Oct 2020, 4:47 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Hey @Eve7

From one ECT buddy to another 💕💕

Hope it goes well hun

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor27 Oct 2020, 4:48 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

I know the feeling of isolation too well - it's not very nice at all @Eve7

Can you have visitors where you are?

I hope you came out of your first ECT treatment ok. 🦋

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Eve7Senior Contributor27 Oct 2020, 4:54 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Thanks @WIP . I can have visitors now but because it’s so limited I’ve just had S dropping off a few things. I am finding it harder to talk with people and I think I’m over medicated.

All went ok yesterday, just a bit teary. Are you managing any better?

@Snowie youre a good buddy. I hope it goes well for both of us.

💜🧡💜

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor27 Oct 2020, 5:02 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

That's really good that you can have visitors @Eve7

I'm not doing any better, thanks for asking though. Every day is a struggle.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Eve7Senior Contributor27 Oct 2020, 5:11 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

I am really sorry it’s such a struggle for you every day @WIP . I think of you a lot and keep hoping that there will be a breakthrough for you. It’s not fair and it’s so very expensive to have mi.

There’s a storm happening here right now with bright flashes of lightning and very loud thunder which will break the humidity as the rain starts to fall.

💦🤗💦

In response to: Re: Changing meds

BPDSurvivorSenior Contributor27 Oct 2020, 8:21 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

@WIP , thank you for connecting with us despite the pain and struggle you are sitting with at this point. I can only begin to imagine the despair you may be feeling, and am hoping that glimpses of light will show itself soon.

@WIP , if you feel up to it, can I ask what you feel your struggle is? What do you feel you are struggling with? I guess I see struggle as a form of resistance against something? I'm not too sure.

My hugs are with you. I am here with you.

@Eve7 , How are you feeling after your ECT?

BPDSurvivor

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