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Something’s not right

Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

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In response to: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

Thank you @Zoe7 @Former-Member


That's all I can muster to say atm. sorry.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

BPDSurvivorSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

I'm holding you @WIP . We'll carry you through this difficult time. You don't need to say anything. You don't need to do anything.

Hugs

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

I'm not really in the right frame of mind to be doing this, but I've tried starting to work on a Safety Plan. Listing reasons to live for is particularly difficult - I can't list friends, work, children, I don't know what I even enjoy anymore.

Ideas?

@BPDSurvivor @Former-Member @Eve7 @Maggie @Anastasia

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Zoe7Senior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

In mine @WIP I had at the top of my list my fur babies and then found it very hard to think of anything else as well... my forum friends came next

In response to: Re: Changing meds

JynxModerator

Re: Changing meds

Hey @WIP good on you, that is an amazing step. I hope it's a helpful process for you, and also remember to take breaks if you start feeling frustrated or overwhelmed. And of course we're here for you along the way

In my own safety plan I have some stuff that's just the little things... Like watching leaves fall in autumn or enjoying the squishy texture of a marshmallow melting in my mouth. The little things might only bring little pleasures, but sometimes that's enough.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

BPDSurvivorSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

@WIP ,

I acknowledge this is a very challenging time for you,

yet your ability to continually reach out and even 'attempt' creating a safety plan shows phenomenal bravery and resilience.

Im glad you have asked for ideas for your safety plan. I'm sorry if anything here sounds lame:

- your mum

- your nephew/niece

- Levi

- SANE community

- yourself

- you've come this far already

- living is about moving forward

- life has ups and downs - there is reprieve

- hope

xxxxoooo

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Changing meds

AnastasiaSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

Sitting with you @WIP I'm sorry I am not much help.

My boys safety plan included dreams.

He wants to release music and be known one day xxx

In response to: Re: Changing meds

BPDSurvivorSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

How are you @WIP ?

Hi @Anastasia

In response to: Re: Changing meds

BPDSurvivorSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

@WIP , R U OK?

@Anastasia

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Eve7Senior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

Missing you @WIP and sending kind thoughts your way.

💙🤗💙

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