Changing meds

Thank you @Zoe7 for your heart felt and encouraging words.

I'm sorry, I don't have much to give this morning in way of response. Not a good night and have woken miserable again.
I don't believe I'm as strong as you and will get through this. Everyday is the same & being on my own is just too difficult.

Plus, I battle with physical illnesses each day - chronic back/neck/rib pain and gastrointestinal tract problems that impact me significantly each day, contributing to my depression..

It's all just too much, I can't live like this anymore.

Yes @WIP i agree with @Zoe7 - those small achievements ARE achievements. Maybe linen it to a physical disability where even just standing/walking/getting out of bed takes commitment (and sometimes equipment like hoists - maybe think of your community of support here as forming a sling underneath you helping you ease gently into an everyday task). Sorry if that sounds stupid - I don't know why but I've only had 2 hours sleep & lots to do today like driving for 3 hours to collect new car for son!)

Yes @WIP i agree with @Zoe7 those small achievements ARE achievements. Maybe linen it to a physical disability where even just standing/walking/getting out of bed takes commitment (and sometimes equipment like hoists - maybe think of your community of support here as forming a sling underneath you helping you ease gently into an everyday task). Sorry if that sounds stupid - I don't know why but I've only had 2 hours sleep & lots to do today like driving for 3 hours to collect new car for son!)

Thanks @BPDSurvivor

I don't really understand that.

Sorry, I'd rather not explore this concept further. My perception of most things is very negative atm, and has been for a long time now. So, I am

suffering.

Thanks for sitting with me.

WIP x

You don't need words or any response Hon - here sitting with you and telling you that you are strong. I believe it takes a very strong person to open up and post here with all that is going onfor you - so Yes I do see you as strong @WIP This darkness you are in is not at all nice - I do very much get that as I was there for the longest time. I cannot and will not say you will find your way out quickly becasue in my experience that just is not the case but I will say that given the right supports you can work your way through. In saying that I also know you have been let down by so many people and I find that quite disgusting - the MH system in this country is very broken and despite the extra money being thrown into this area by government it just is not enough nor are there enough professionals around to provide the services needed. Keep searching though Hon because you need and deserve that support.

@WIP ... everything sounds really bleak for you the past couple of days. Please do not give up hope ... you are not a lost cause and you are not yet in the too hard basket. I know there isnt anything I can say or suggest you do, to magically switch off that negative mindset you find yourself in. Thats something that has to come from within. Keep seeking professional help, keep your head held high. You are doing the best you can, and you will find a way through. If you want some company through the day, please tag me. I wont be far away, and am happy to sit with you or chat if you need someone around.

Hi @Anastasia @Zoe7 @Sam3 @BPDSurvivor

Emelia 🌸

Just sitting with you dear L xxx

Holding your hand. You mean so much to me @WIP 💞

That's the thing @Zoe7 I reach out for professional help and support, and have been let down again - and it's hit me hard, really hard.

I need help! And I'm not getting it. I feel like what's the point in trying anymore.

I'm running out of money anyway.

And the wait list to see yet another psychologist is long. To be honest, I can't go through another med change ordeal either.

Loneliness is really taking its toll. I'm beginning to believe what they say is true - loneliness can k**l

Every day is torture. Waking up miserable, crying on and off all day, sitting by myself with my negative thoughts, I don't crack a smile, waiting till I can take my medication to get some relief from life, by being able to sleep.

My physical problems - back/ribs and digestive issues are getting worse too and the pain &

discomfort is getting unbearable.

This isn't living, I just exist.

I know I have to help myself too, and not just rely on medication & professional help. I feel I try, obviously not enough.

I really appreciate your encouraging words and thoughts, and those from @Anastasia @Emelia8 @BPDSurvivor@Eve7

Hi @WIP,

I'm sorry to hear how much pain you are carrying today. I can really see how much you are doing to help yourself and I can understand that some days, recovery can feel a lot harder than others, and some days even feel impossible. I am really glad you continue to find support here, as you know this community really cares about you. We are sitting with you today, WIP, you are not alone

And just a gentle reminder to reach out to a service, like Lifeline, or a support today if you need.

Warmest,

Basil

That really does all sound intolerable at present @WIP I know there are really no words right now that can help but I am here listening and sitting with you. I always found there was a glimmer of comfort in knowiing others were by my side here so I hope that helps you a little too

This period you are going through is horrible and I am very much hearing you about the lack of outside support. As for the med changes - I totally get that ...had too many myself to count but finally found ones that helped. That was just the beginning though - there were a lot of down days and trying to just get through for a looong time. Keep talking to us here and when you are able to reach out again for that support. Have you contacted the SANE helpcentre to help you? They may be able to direct you to those in your area that can help. They are also great to talk things through with for a little extra support. I have used the Helpcentre a lot over my journey and I can honestly say they made a massive difference for me - no pressure of course but I highly recommend them if you have not already utilised that avenue.