Changing meds

Hello lovely @Anastasia You are so thoughtful to check in on me. How are you going?

I'm alright. Not great, not bad, but okayish. The weekend dragged a bit, I didn't end up seeing my Mum and I was still in quite a bit of pain from my back/ribs/neck. So that was quite demotivating. I had an Osteopath appointment this morning, instead of the usual Chiro appt I have and he's helped a lot as he did a lot of Myotherapy manipulation (he's certified in that practice too). I just hope it lasts a while.

How's work going from home today?

I'm sorry your boy didn't have the best of days yesterday. However, I'm sure it's a good feeling to have him back at home though. I'm sure he'll settle down soon, like he usually does after first returning back from his Fathers. It must be challenging for you though. I'm so proud of the way you are with your son, you're a great mum.

The increase dose of my AD seems to be helping.....it bloody should, I'm on higher than the maxium recommended dose, which makes me a bit nervous even though my psychiatrist says it's nothing to worry about. My anxiety is still pretty prominent though, and I regularly take anti-anxiety/benzo to help control that. I'm trying to reduce the benzo use, but one thing at a time I say. Get myself more stable depression wise, and sleep wise, and then work on my anxiety. If I don't sleep well, I don't stand a chance of a day without anxiety.

These frustrating restrictions still hanging over our Victorian heads is really starting to get to me, and a lot of people in the community. There's been lots of articles written in the newspapers lately about how the strict restrictions aren't necessary any longer (particularly since over the weekend, Sydney had the same new covid #'s as us), and the huge impact they are having of people's wellbeing, quality of life and in particular Mental Health. Many feel as though there's going to be a tsunami of mental health issues, that will be just as tragic as the virus itself. I tend to agree.

Anyway, the countdown is on to next Monday when Dan Andrews will hopefully lift some of the restrictions. I feel he is going to, due to the community & health expert pressure he is getting.

I had my 1st appointment with a new psychologist last Wednesday and it went ok. It was just an information dump from me really. She seems very nice and hopefully we'll work well together. I've booked weekly sessions with her for the next month.

Enjoy your afternoon xx

Hello dear @WIP

I am happy to hear that you are alright. (Not great, not bad, but okayish) That makes me really happy! 🙂 🙂 🙂

The weekends can certainly drag a bit, when no real plans are in motion, extremely difficult with bloomin Covid!

How good does your Osteopath appointment this morning sound! I also hope it lasts a while too.

Working from home today is okish - hard with my boy as he is and a lot of what I have to do I am putting off till I get to the office tomorrow where I will have three screens and no choice but to knuckle down and get things done.

Thank you for your sentiments around my boy, I know we all have bad days it is normal I just put so much into a time when he will have less and less, which he was and now I feel like we have taken a massive leap backwards so it's frustrating. Perhaps just the nature of the beast and I have to accept it and not dwell on it. Just hard when I feel like I am riding the wave and at any point can fall of myself. Anyway enough of that.

Thank you for saying I am a great Mum, makes me teary as I often question this. I guess the fact that I am the only one on the planet that my boy seeks comfort in then I can't be too bad.

Now this, my friend is THE BEST NEWS!!!!!

"The increase dose of my AD seems to be helping"!!!!

Finally 🙂 🙂 🙂

and yes 100%, baby steps, one thing at a time.

I totally agree that the frustrating restrictions aren't necessary any longer and that they would definitely be having a massive impact on peoples mental health. Enough I say!!!

Fingers crossed for next Monday when Dan Andrews will hopefully lift some of the restrictions.

I do recall now that you had your 1st appointment with a new psychologist last Wednesday and I am stoked that it went ok. I am sorry as I do remember this. This also makes me really happy. Hopefully on the right path now dear L. Happy to be walking along it with you. Again I am sorry I am less in touch of late but always here trying to keep up and chipping in when I can. Love you lots and lots xxx

I guess that is my lunch break time over now so thank you for catching me up to date and again so stoked you are where you are at xxx

Hey my friends @Anastasia and @WIP ,

I feel like I've missed soooo much that's been happening because I've gone back to work. I'm really enjoying my work. It is so good to be back. The kids are soooooo happy to see their friends!

@WIP , thanks for encouraging me. You made my day when I read that you see some improvement. It's so good to follow you through the ups and downs of your recovery journey - YES! I mean downs too! Not only the ups!

@Anastasia , thanks for keeping us in the loop. You really are doing an amazing job. My hat goes off to you!

Hugs to all,

BPDSurvivor

Awww you are lovely.

Thank you @BPDSurvivor that really lifts my spirits. I'm so pleased you are loving your work. It does make all the difference to enjoy what you do. It is hard to keep up whilst working and then home commitmens x keep taking care of you.

Hope you are ok dear @WIP you have been quiet today xxx

Hi lovely @Anastasia

Yes, a bit quiet y'day and will be today. Sore back still.
And it's a year ago today I lost my gorgeous dog, he was was my child - as I don't have any human ones.

There's many members going through issues with their fur babies at the moment and their own physical health issues, I'm finding it just a little bit much for me.

I'm ok, just sad and reflective. Last year was filled with a lot of grief for me and anniversaries bring back a lot of those feelings.

Hope you are still going well my friend.

xx

Hey @BPDSurvivor

I thought of you on Monday being back in the office at work. It must feel SO good to be around other people etc.

I was driving home on Monday afternoon and there's a primary school just near where I live and it was around 3.40pm. It bought such a smile to my face seeing all the little kids walking home with their parents in the sun. I had loud music in my car (one of my favourite things to do when I'm feeling good) and then seeing the stream of kids in their uniforms was just wonderful. I thought how thankful the parents must be, that their children are back at school. I just hope this lockdown hasn't had too much of an effect on the mental health of the little ones. They all looked pretty happy though.

Hopefully us big kids will have some restrictions lifted this weekend too!

Have a good day x

Oh dear @WIP

I am sorry about your beloved fur baby. It certainly would be difficult online at the moment. It is good that you have recognised that it is best to take a break, I have also felt the need to take breaks away to gather my own thoughts so you are not alone.

I'm sorry your back is still giving you grief, hoping the treatment starts to take effect and you feel some inprovement soon my friend.

I am ok"ish", spilled a cup of coffee all over myself this morning and no time to change so I smell like a coffee shop! Crazy busy at work and being pulled in lots of directions. I am not doing a good job of staying in the now and keep my thinking keeps drifting to the start of next year when one girl is off on leave (for a year!) and I am not sure what will be expected of me...silly I know and I need to stop thinking of that as it is not helpful. I see my therapist Thursday so will talk about that as well as my relationship that is going down the toilet after two plus years of "my life situation" *sigh.

Oh well L I am out of words now as I am feeling sorry for myself even more now. I seem to tell you "stuff" I feel a closeness to you so I hope you don't mind?

Thank you for listening - I appreciate you very much xxx

Yes @WIP , the kids are soooooooo happy! They are delighted to see their friends. Our main aim to is make sure they are mentally well and healthy. The kids put a smile on my face.

How's the day been treating you?

BPDSurvivor

Hi @Anastasia

I knew you'd respond to my post, so I wanted to log back in and reply.

Thank you for your sweet words about Ollie - he was the most gorgeous boy with a unique personality, such a gem he was.

I'm glad to hear you are ok 'ish' and not bad, even though you've got so much going on. You're an incredibly strong woman who knows how to look after everyone else, but can also recognise when you need a little bit of help yourself - hence, your therapist appt tomorrow. I hope you get some helpful guidance on how to navigate your way through the upcoming changes at work, and also the current challenges with your boyfriend. I'm sure you'll work both things out. Open communication always goes a long way.

Its ok to feel a bit sorry for ourself when we have more than our fair share of 'stuff' on our plate, so please don't feel bad about that. You're allowed!

I'm grateful to have developed a friendship with you, where we can chat as openly as we do with each other.

My Ollie dog

Bugger about smelling like coffee for the day though - that'd annoy me heaps. I'd even be tempted to buy myself a new cheap top during my lunch break. Oh well, I'm sure you're making a joke about it at work and able to have a bit of a laugh about it.

Take care of YOU!

L xx

I'm sure the kids put a smile on your face @BPDSurvivor . Must be just so delightful to see them all back enjoying their friends.

Quiet day for me. Sad & reflective - the 1st anniversary of my dog passing. Seems like yesterday. He was my child for almost 14 yo. Remembering how wonderful & entertaining he was.