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Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thank you @Eve7 for accepting me the way I am. Most days I don't accept who I am, so it's nice to hear that someone does.

Yes, we try and get through another day. Life is just day by day (or sometimes your by hour) for me.

How are you doing? Been able to creep out from the doona yet? - I haven't really. No shower, means I get to go back whenever I like 😉

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @WIP thanks for talking to me. I am back under the doona now but I did go to breakfast, if you can call 10am breakfast, with a close friend. I enjoyed it but she thinks I should jus snap out of it.

My meds are all mucked up too so I can identify with you for now.

I hope today is being a bit kinder for you

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Oh @Eve7 'just snap out of it' is up there with 'it is what it is' as my all time hated sayings!!!

So glad you made it out for breakfast though, that's awesome. Wish I had a friend.

Im sorry your meds are all mucked up. That makes things sooo difficult. I hope they get sorted soon.

Maybe I'm being a little kinder to myself today, or I'm just emotionally stuffed from y'day - not sure. Tears are still there. It's hard, it's tough. Why can't life be easier? We are tough people!

xx

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

We are tough @WIP and I am really lucky with friends as another one has invited me to breakfast tomorrow. I know they really care but I can’t just snap out of it this time. I used to hate “it is what it is” but now I find myself saying it.

it doesn’t have to be what it is, surely not!

Its good you are being kinder to yourself today...well done ✅

While I’m hiding in my room I am doing a big clean out and hopefully Vinnies will love me lol. I am getting rid of everything and going back to basics.

it’s such a gorgeous day here too 💛🤗💛

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@WIP @Eve7 💚💚💚

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

How are you today @Maggie ?

💕💕💕

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

😢😢 @Eve7 Trying to keep swimming.🐠🐟

Are you ok enough. 💜💜

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

We are tough @Eve7 to live with these illnesses day in and day out - they certainly don't make like easier!!

Ive started a small collection for Vinnies or any Ol shop really. I'm just not ready to throw my beautiful work clothes that are a size to small for me now (due to high dose antipsychotic medication) away just yet. I'm hoping with the improved spring weather I'll get motivated and walk for the allowed 2 hours we have in Melb at the moment. Gyms won't be open for ages, so I'll have to somehow motivate myself - geez, that seems impossible.

Enjoy your breakfast tomorrow with a different friend - lucky you!!! xx

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I’ve thrown out a pile of wok clothes today @WIP as I’ve lost weight even with anti psychotics.

Ill but new clothes if I ever get well again

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi everybody!

@WIP @Eve7 @Maggie @Anastasia @Zoe7

It's so great to see each of us support one other during times of crisis.

By nature, MH has many ups and downs. What makes it different here is that we can all uphold and strengthen one another.

@WIP , as others have said, please don't feel embarrassed or ashamed. I myself have been in your situation and it is there to remind us we are human. @WIP , I know you have been through a lot. It is your determination and resilience which has brought you thus far. I've been amazed at how you have clung on and been able to reach out here as well as other services. Just continue pushing through. Fight on, soldier on and don't let depression get the better of you.

You've got all of us behind you, just like what you would do for us.

BPDSurvivor

401 - 410 of 2,972