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Something’s not right

Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Goodnight @Anastasia Hope you sleep well

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Good morning @WIP

I hope you slept? I don't have many words other than I care about you and hope today is a better day for you. I have to go to the office so won't be able to be around as much but will check in whenever I can. Xxx

Hope your day is kind to you too @Zoe7 @BPDSurvivor and everyone xxx

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@Anastasia @Zoe7 @Eve7 @BPDSurvivor @Former-Member

Really tough night everyone. Thank you for your kind words, care & support.

I here. I'm not ok. But today's a new day.

WIP

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Today is a new day @WIP I really hope a better one. Are you safe dear Wip? I care about you x

@Zoe7 @Eve7 @BPDSurvivor @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@WIP ,

You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.

You are right in saying this is a new day. It doesn't mean it will be a good day, great day, or awesome day, but it is a new day,

We are all with you in this.

BPDSurvivor

@Anastasia @Zoe7 @Eve7

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@BPDSurvivor @Anastasia @Zoe7 @Eve7

My dear friends,

Thank you die your support last night, I wasn't in a very good place at all. It wasn't fair of me to cause you worry & concern.

Unfortunately, I didn't sleep particularly well (surprise, surprise), so am still emotionally exhausted this morning. Tears are already flowing.

I spoke to my Mum at length last night, even though I HATE her hearing me in that state. I worry her so much.

I don't have the motivation to get out of bed yet, so going to stay put for awhile and try to settle down a bit. Levi won't let me sleep, he keeps bouncing around the bed & room 😉

Thank you once again. And I am embarrassingly sorry to have reached out the way I did. I should have gone straight to a crisis line and not bothered/worried you all.

Love L xx

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Don't be embarrassed @WIP

It's all ok. Glad you're safe ❣️

Sending you gentle hugs and sitting with you xxxx

@BPDSurvivor @Zoe7 @Eve7

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I am embarrassed & ashamed, but I'll have. To deal with it.

Thank you @Anastasia . We haven't been in touch for very long, however you've been an immense help. You have such a giving heart.

Thank you for sitting with me. I need the company. Xx

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

❤️ @WIP

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I accept you as you are @WIP so no need to feel shame or embarrassment. We are here to support each other.

Now we try again to get through another day.

💙🤗💙

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