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Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor15 July 2020, 11:14 am AEST

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

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In response to: Changing meds

Zoe7Senior Contributor28 Sept 2020, 4:06 pm AEST

Re: Changing meds

@Former-Member

@WIP Concerned about your last post - are you safe?

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor28 Sept 2020, 4:36 pm AEST

Re: Changing meds

@Zoe7 @Anastasia @Former-Member

Im not worthy of your concern.

its between me and my family now I think.

im barely holding on.

please don't worry, I'm just a stranger on line to you guys.

i really appreciate your responses

In response to: Re: Changing meds

AnastasiaSenior Contributor28 Sept 2020, 4:40 pm AEST

Re: Changing meds

Oh @WIP

I don't see you as a stranger and I literally just "met" you and think the world of you so I am certain that @Zoe7 and your other forumites love you and want only good things for you.

Please reach out to Lifeline 131144 please

We are here sitting with you, you are special xoxo

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Zoe7Senior Contributor28 Sept 2020, 4:41 pm AEST

Re: Changing meds

You are definitely worthy and we are concerned for you @WIP You are more than a 'stranger on line' - you are part of our family here and that means something. Whilst we may not be able to see you or know your name it does not take away from the real connections we make here and the cre and concern we have for each other. MI may be what brought us all here but the friendships we make keep us here. Please call a helpline or reach out to whatever supports you have right now @WIP - you matter and deserve support.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Unknown userMember28 Sept 2020, 4:41 pm AEST

Re: Changing meds

Hey there @WIP Sounds like you’re having a tough time today with heavy thoughts and sadness. We're all sitting with you and alongside you virtually

It is really important you get qualified help beyond a peer support service when things get really hard and thoughts of giving up start to rise. Our forums are not a crisis service. We’d recommend you take a break from the forums right now and reach out to SCBS on 1300 659 467. We'll be here to listen as peers after you've reached out to a qualified counsellor - you deserve the one to one support @WIP

In response to: Re: Changing meds

BPDSurvivorSenior Contributor28 Sept 2020, 6:36 pm AEST

Re: Changing meds

@WIP ,

You DO deserve to be here.

You DO deserve to celebrate your ups with us.

You DO deserve to celebrate your downs with us.

We DO want you here.

We DO want to take this journey with you.

We DO want to ride out this wave with you.

You are a fighter and you have proven this over the last few months. You have been in the toughest of places and you have not given up. I have seen you pull through and I know you can continue to pull through.

You don't have to say anything, but know we are here. We are better off WITH you. Your mother needs you. Levi needs you. It is worth it.

Soldier on. You don't need to struggle with it. It will pass.

Huge hug!

Im holding you now. Just be still.

All my thoughts and care,

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Changing meds

Eve7Senior Contributor28 Sept 2020, 6:45 pm AEST

Re: Changing meds

It’s hard @WIP and sometimes the journey is long but you are important to us. So many people here really care about you and even though we can’t see or hold you we are always here.

Please don’t give up, just get through today and then we’re here again tomorrow.

sending love and hugs

💙🤗💙🤗💙🤗💙🤗💙

In response to: Re: Changing meds

AnastasiaSenior Contributor28 Sept 2020, 11:31 pm AEST