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Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @Eve7

No apology needed, I shouldn't have asked you to tag me in the first place. I didn't realise how triggered you were by the situation.

I'm sorry to see you've had a really rough day. I hope you are feeling a little settled tonight and are able to sleep.
I should be asleep by now, but I don't get tired - at all. Meds aren't working tonight.......yet! 😢

You take care too.
💜💜

In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Oh gosh, @WIP ...it seems I missed a really bad time for you happening...I'm sorry. I am finding it hard to keep up with the forums at the moment, and the SAD means I am online less. How did you manage to sleep last night, after you mentioned your sleep meds didn't seem to be working?

Thanks for your nice message yesterday. Yes, I've been getting outside more, and the sun's been great, hasn't it? Sadly a week or so of showers, possible showers or rain now for us...

I'm so pleased you've been able to book in with a recommended psychologist, yay 🙂 I hope that might be a weight off your mind? And only having to wait a month...or hang on, what's today? Maybe 6 weeks...but still, that's better then 3 months. Is she expensive even with the Medicare rebate?

You were sounding a bit better yesterday, even with the nasty post that both you and I happened to read yesterday morning...so I really hope that things are looking up for you. Sending

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Morning @NatureLover

So nice to hear back from you.

I ended up taking some melatonin on top of my sleeping meds and finally fell asleep. Haven't woken up feeling the best unfortunately, as I wasn't too bad yesterday. That's one of the things with this illness I guess, it's inconsistency. I find that part very challenging, as I can easily get ahead of myself when I have an okish day and have high expectations that the following day will be the same or even better. My physical issues aren't good this morning, so that's contributing to me feeling blah.

My psychologist appt is mid October, which isn't far away really. She's a clinical psychologist, so $220 a session I think. With the Medicare rebate, I'm out of pocket around $100. I've got private health insurance with extras, so need to contact them to see if I can claim any of the gap fee. You probably can't double dip, but it's worth me checking. Yes, it is a weight off my mind that I've been able to book in with someone. Now I've just got to not worry too much as to if I'll get along with her or not. I've had bad experiences in the past with psychologists, so that sort of taints my view a bit.

How is your SAD going? I hope you have more good days than bad.

Have a calm day ❤️

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @WIP , glad you slept, but sorry you're feeling blah...I didn't know you had physical issues too, I'm, sorry to hear that.


@WIP wrote:

That's one of the things with this illness I guess, it's inconsistency. I find that part very challenging, as I can easily get ahead of myself when I have an okish day and have high expectations that the following day will be the same or even better.


I agree, I'm the same.

I'm glad it's only 4 weeks to wait for your psychologist appointment. I'm sorry though that you've had bad experiences in the past....sounds like more than once? I will be crossing my fingers that all goes well this time.

With my SAD, it's more bad days than good, good days are rare, but I'm still able to get up and do some stuff, it's just difficult, and I don't achieve much. Thanks for your good wishes 🙂

I hope you can also have a calm day, @WIP ...

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @WIP , thinking of you and wishing you the best...it's a beautiful morning outside! I hope you can get outside for a while. I think showers are due later, or maybe "possible showers"...I am about to go outside and plant out a jasmine that someone gave me.

Hoping you are OK...

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @NatureLover


I'm very fortunate to have a jasmine tree growing over my side fence from next your. It looks a bit feral on the off season, but when it's in bloom like now, it's glorious.. I'm sure it contributes to hay fever for both Levi & I, but I don't care. It looks and smells sonbeautifik

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @WIP , am hoping you are OK, as you posted at about 1.50 in the morning this morning...am hoping that you might be sleeping now.

Your jasmine next door sounds lovely...

Hoping you are OK...sending hugs...

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @NatureLover

Thanks, but I'm not really ok. Been a tough few days unfortunately.

Which forum did I post on? Must have been half asleep.

How are you going?

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@WIP I'm sorry you're not OK. 😞

You posted in this thread, in the early hours one morning.

I really hope your tough time eases very soon...

I'm muddling through, thanks.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@WIP just thinking of you and wanting to send you a warm hug...hoping that things are starting to ease for you... It's a gloomy miserable weather day today, isn't it...which wouldn't be helping. Please take care of yourself...

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