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Something’s not right

Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Absolutely no need to apologise for anything @WIP Yes we have been there too and so know how hard it is. You have written with great insight into yourself today and that alone shows both strength and hope ...and yes I will keep reminding you of both of those things. Thank you for checking in today - I was worried about you so it is great to hear from you today One step at a time Hon - when and if you can

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hey @WIP , here with you. Please sing out if you need any extra support tonight.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thanks @Jynx

Not doing too good to be honest. I can't calm down and have been this way for a couple

of hours. My usual strategies aren't working.

If I ring a support line, I'm just going to cry & they won't be able to understand me

i just want to cloaw my eyes & not have them open...please

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@WIP That's really awful and I'm sorry you're so overwhelmed. Definitely do what you think is best - but also remember that sometimes we really do just need to have a big cry, and sometimes having someone else there to help us through it makes it a little easier. You can also always use the chat service - either through SANE or there's also one at Lifeline and Suicide Callback Service.

Keep breathing, and know that even though it's horrible now, it will pass. And we'll be here till it does.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hey @WIP, I hope you're able to get onto someone soon. I can sense how high your distress is at the moment, which would make even waiting for a chat to seem like a really long time. I believe in you, in your ability to get through this. Keep holding on.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @NatureLover

How have you been going the past few days? I've been thinking of you and hoping that you've been getting out for your walks each day...taking advantage of the extra hour of exercise time we get each day. I've noticed a lot more people out and about this week.

Just wanted to update you that I've finally been successful in making a psychologist appointment - with someone who has come recommended. She's expensive, but that doesn't matter if I 'click' with her & more importantly she can help me. It's not till next month tho. Something to look forward to.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @WIP , just checking you’re ok tonight and apologising for not tagging you this morning. I was too overwhelmed at the time and I was triggered by the whole situation.

Take care

💙🧡💙

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