Changing meds

Good morning @NatureLover

To be honest, I wasn't surprised at the Premier extending stage 4 till the end of Sept. I expected it.

i like the extra hour if permitted exercise or outdoor time - I'm sure you do to.

The bubble idea is good. Although, Mum asked for her GP to write a note explaining my pre existing acute mental illness, and that Mum is my carer, needing to check on me when needed. This is when I was going through meds changes and not well at all. I wouldn't have coped not seeing anyone at all. She's all I've got. I haven't seen her much, as she's in her 70s and Should be inside as much as possible. But her visiting me does her just as much good as it does me.

thanks for checking on my @NatureLover

Youre a gem!

Hi @WIP , I'm sorry I'm late getting back to you, I've had three days off the forums, had some depression (but not severe).

---

@WIP wrote:

To be honest, I wasn't surprised at the Premier extending stage 4 till the end of Sept. I expected it.

---

It sounds like you're not too upset like a lot of people are, about the extension... I expected it too, so am not upset about it.

I'm pleased about the 2 hours of exercise. Not sure if I will take up the bubble idea. I'm glad you've had your mum visiting you all this time.

How are you doing today?

Hi @NatureLover

Lovely to hear from you.

I thought I was ok with the extension of Stage 4, but have been really, really down the past few days, not sleeping again. So I think subconsciously it is worrying me.

Im sorry to hear you've had some depression the past 3 days. It's horrible isn't it?!? I'm glad you looked after yourself by going off the forums for a bit.

How are travelling today?

im not doing so well, back to lots of anxious tears.

WIP

---

@WIP wrote:

I thought I was ok with the extension of Stage 4, but have been really, really down the past few days, not sleeping again.

...

im not doing so well, back to lots of anxious tears.

---

I'm really sorry to hear this, @WIP ...the weather today wouldn't be helping. I really hope things pick up for you very soon...

Yes, I hate depression. I'm hoping mine won't last till the end of October like it usually does at this time of year.

Good luck with yours...

Hi @NatureLover

I certainly hope your depression doesn't last till end of October. That's a long bout. Does the weather contribute, or has something in the past happened around this time frame?

i struggled with Father's Day this year, and then its snowballed on. I'm just not coping as well with things as they pop up. My mind is running away with the 'what ifs'. I need to focus on what I can control in this covid situation and the rest will get sorted when it does. Having depression makes it difficult for my to remain positive though.

I'm really sorry to hear this, @WIP ...the weather today wouldn't be helping. I really hope things pick up for you very soon...

---

The weather has such as impact on my depression - here's hoping this rain lets up soon.

All the best @NatureLover

Hi, anyone around. Struggling a bit this afternoon.

I was doing well for a week or so, then had a drink to celebrate my 2nd Fathers Day without him and polished the bottle off over the week.

im not much of a drinker now, but it plays up with my medications etc

I'm all emotional and teary now, can't sleep and have the guilts something terrible.

@Sam3

Sometimes all we can do to get past slip ups or things we have done that we are not happy with ourselves for is reset and begin each day as a new day @WIP There is no point looking back on what we cannot change as that will not change anything. I do know that is easier said than done but dwelling on it, continuing to beat ourselves up about it and hoping it had not hgappened further breeds into our distress. It is incredibly hard grieving the loss of those so close to us so you got through it the best way you knew how. Grief comes in waves sometimes and anniversaries or special days often have a much greater impact on us than when we think about who is not here with us anymore at other times. Celebrate now all the good times together, sit with your grief as that is also important and tackle tomorrow as a brand new day when it comes. Hugs and hugs Hon

Hi gorgeous @Zoe7

Thanks for getting back to me, when I know you are going through a lot yourself.

The best thing is for me to reset and accept that I slipped up (again)....although they are further and few apart these days. I need to appreciate remember Dadnon Sunday and not dwell on the way I went about it.

to be honest, I'm just not at that point where I can definately recognise a trigger.

Some are obvious, where I should ask for help/company like Father's Day, the extended Stage 4 though, has hit me hard.. It's only another 2 weeks, but that's for little changes. Big things that affect my life as it is now, aren't till montjs

and months away - borders reopening so I can potentially drive mum to visit my sister & the kids, the job market in my area picking up, being able

to volunteer, or go to the gym - they aren't opening up till December. Outdoor boot camps are restricted and who knows how much they will charge now?

Thanks for you thoughtful advice - acknowledge my slip up, but don't dwell on it and tomorrow's a new day......if I manage to get to sleep ok tonight 😉

How are you doing these days? School hols coming up soon? Can you go away at all?

I do hope you can sleep tonight @WIP I find sleep easier when I do not have so much on my mind and my anxiety is not high. I am also learning to sit with those things when they happen and not try to fight them as that is also when anxiety and flashbacks increase. It has significantly helped me with those times those thoughts and memories are present. I also often wake from nightmares and once I find my bearings and realise it isn't real I will sit up with Tobes until sleep comes again ...I do spend a lot of time on the couch as a result but it works for me. Getting so worried and annoyed with ourselves for our thoughts exacerbates our reactions and increases our resistance to 'let it go'. That in turn greatly affects our sleep and ability to relax even a little. These are all things that have taken me a long time to learn to deal with in my own way - and I am still learning. The tougher times it is certainly a lot harder and much like you the lack of sleep does feed the cycle a lot but I am able to recognise that more and more and continue to work on it. A major part of that is not getting annoyed at myself or overly anxious at having those thoughts - sitting with them and letting them work themselves out in their own time is just as important (maybe more so) than not having them at all ...to throw out some cliches - it is all a learning journey and we will all have ebs and flows along the rollercoaster as we go.

Thanks all makes logical sense @Zoe7 , but Unfortunatley I'm not in a position/headspace to implement them yet. My anxiety is so high, I need medication to calm down. I've have my 3rd anti anxiety med for the day, as I've cried most of the day away 'bashing myself' up for what I did during the week. I slipped, I made mistakes, when I was actually starting to feel a little better on the new medication. I'm just owns worst enemy, as they say.

When I'm trying to sleep, I need to learn how to acknowledge them, but not get caught up in them and go around and around- getting frustrated,

more anxious at the same time.
it's only 6pm and I'm already worried about sleep time. I do t feel tired, so could stay up for hours if I let myself. But, all I really want to do is count down the time till I can take my meds and pray they send me off to sleep.

Ive got my alarm clock in Levi waking me at 6.30 - which isn't too bad.

but not working In Lockdown, it's a bloody long day!