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Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor15 July 2020, 11:14 am AEST

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

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In response to: Changing meds

AnastasiaSenior Contributor31 July 2021, 11:32 am AEST

Re: Changing meds

I'm so happy to see you @WIP 🤗🙏💞

I'm so sorry things have taken a big downward spiral💔 Going into hospital sounds like a really good idea hun. We will be with you in spirit every minute. I'm reaching through and hugging you tight. Love always my precious friend, you are very special to me I💕

In response to: Re: Changing meds

BPDSurvivorSenior Contributor31 July 2021, 1:27 pm AEST

Re: Changing meds

Hi @WIP ,

Good to hear from you. I'm glad you are getting the care you need.

It's totally okay you taking a bit of time away, but please remember we are here. You can reply when you feel up to it.

Take care,

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Changing meds

Eve7Senior Contributor01 Aug 2021, 10:08 am AEST

Re: Changing meds

HI @WIP

Thinking of you today and sending lots of love xox

In response to: Changing meds

NatureLoverSenior Contributor01 Aug 2021, 12:15 pm AEST

Re: Changing meds

@WIP wrote:
Thank you for your concern @NatureLover
Honestly, I haven't been very well at all. Heading into hospital on Wednesday. I've been close to the edge many times this week..... I've given up. My mindset is stuck to negative and I don't believe I can get better or ever have a life worth living.
Just haven't been up to being on the forum - I'm sorry to cause you concern.

I feared you were doing it tough @WIP 😞 It is totally fine to cause me concern, that's what your friends on here are for...to miss you when you aren't here and worry whether you're OK.

Am so sorry you've been so close to the edge this week. 😞 I really hope that hospital helps as of Wednesday. Am sending los of wishes out for you 💔 and 💙

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor01 Aug 2021, 6:19 pm AEST

Re: Changing meds

My depression is at a dangerous level & anxiety at an all time high. I cry all day and strongly believe my mental health won't improve enough, so I can function and have a worthwhile life. Loneliness is ki!!ing me and I can't fight this fight on my own anymore. I hope to make it to Wednesday, so I can be admitted - but I don't hold too high hopes that the stay will do much good. There's not many more medications to try, & I've done a lot of the group therapy. When I return home I'll still be on my own with no support. I'll need a good discharge plan, but the nurses just aren't much help with that. I'm petrified this admission is going to be like a previous one, where they leave me sitting in my room crying all day.

I'll update you all later on. I wish you were my friends irl, I really do.

@NatureLover @Eve7 @BPDSurvivor @Anastasia

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Emelia8Senior Contributor01 Aug 2021, 6:26 pm AEST