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Something’s not right

Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @WIP ,

Holding you tight.

Jist to reiterate @Peregrinefalcon , you are a valued member here. I'm around if you want to chat, just like @outlander .

Name 5 things you can see....

Name 4 more things you can see...

Name 3 more things you can see...

Take a closer look and name 2 more things you can see.....

Take an even closer look and notice something else you can see...

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thanks @BPDSurvivor

I've tried all those techniques - ice pack over face, ice in hands, squishing hand toys - nothing is working!


Im barely holding on.

thanks for your support

you too @outlander @Peregrinefalcon

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Do it with me now @WIP ,

Hold something in your hand.

Give me 5 words to describe it.

If you want it to be more challenging, we can start with 10 words.

I remember starting with 10 words to describe a tissue...it was sooooo difficult! But it forces you to stop and focus.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I have no hope @BPDSurvivor

Without hope, there's no point.

I cry uncontrollably all day long &'have for sooooo long. Too long.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@WIP ,

You can't hope in something unless you believe there's something better out there.

Do you believe there's something better out there? You may not necessarily feel you can grasp this 'better' life now, but do you think there IS something out there?

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

No, I don't @BPDSurvivor

I haven't for many months now 🥲

I've lived this way - major depression, in tears daily - for far too long. I don't want to do it anymore and don't believe it will get better

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I'm going to go now @BPDSurvivor

I'm too upset. It's not your fault, I've been like this all day.
I just want to go to sleep and never wake up

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@WIP ,

Im in the middle of reading a research paper at the moment, about applying character strengths and virtues. Paraphrasing part of it - Quality of life is not determined by what you have, but rather, it is determined by what you choose to do with the things you have.

Out of curiosity, have you ever tried the 16 personalities quiz? A bit lengthy, but I found it very accurate for me. It helps my use my strengths to navigate barriers.

https://www.16personalities.com/

Have a go if you're up for it.

I'm longing to curl up in bed for a sleep. What's something nice you can do for yourself now?

Otherwise, just know I'm sitting with you and giving you a big hug,

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi there @WIP, sorry to see the emotional pain is very bad tonight. I'm just going to check in privately via email now as i'm worried about your safety.

Here with you,

Sphinxly.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thanks @Former-Member

Hugs @WIP

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