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Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@WIP 💞🙏😘🤗

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

How are things, @WIP ?

What have you been up to today?

@Anastasia @Eve7

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @BPDSurvivor

You always seem to have a knack of checking in with me when I'm not doing so well. Good to hear from you.

I watched the footy this afternoon & my team won against their arc enemy. An extra special team win as my fav player won for his champion grandfather who passed on Thursday.

Mum was kind enough to bring food over for me & Levi as I haven't been able to leave the house for days. I'm stuck in a pit.

How are you going? I hope working from home isnt too challenging.

I'm going to take my night time meds & Hope 2mrw is better

Hugs xx

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I watched the Carlton vs Collingwood match @WIP and definitely thought of you and your Dad when Carlton had a good come-from-behind win. 😄💙

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thanks @Emelia8

Very emotional game for the Silvagni family. Serge

was a champion, SOS was my favourite player growing up. Naturally Jack is a favourite too, he's developinto a fine,'courageous player. I was almost in tears when the siren sounded.

Thanks for you kind wishes.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @WIP ,

Sorry to hear you are not that well. It's good you can enjoy watching the games though.

As for work, it's challenging, but I'm learning so much, so it's worth it.

I was reading through this thread and came to the point where your sister messaged you instead of your mum. This just triggered my memory to when earlier this year, I was having a bit of a whinge about a work colleague not wanting to make changes to their work because they can't be bothered. I ended up sending it to the work colleague instead of my boss - oooopsy daisy!

I ended up taking a real depth breath, then I was determined to do it differently. Instead of hiding behind my mistake, I faced it head on and spoke to my work colleague directly. This was a HUGE learning experience for me. It's the first time I've tackled something like this.

And guess what? It turned out better than I expected. We both apologised on our part, then moved ahead where we both grew as work colleagues. It was a huge step for me. I cannot even begin to explain how a borderline would normally tackle something like this...whatever it is, I saw change in myself. This is how I know I've made growth in my recovery.

So, @WIP , seize these opportunities.

What are you plans for the rest of the week? Or, even just tomorrow?

Hugs, BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hey @WIP how you doing today? 💕

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @BPDSurvivor

I'm glad to hear that the unfortunate situation with your work colleague turned out to be a good learning experience for you both.

The text from my sister was then mail in the coffin unfortunately. I responded to her text saying 'well at least I know for sure how you feel about me and my illness' and haven't heard anything back from her since. She has text me once before that she can't believe I haven't ki!!ed myself yet. So, I don't habe any support from her - it's confirmed.

Im not travelling very well @Bow , that's for asking. I'm trying my best, but each day is a challenge - particularly on your own.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@WIP 🌷🌻🌹🐶💗

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Dropping in with some love and support @WIP

💖🌸🤗🌸💖

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