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Something’s not right

Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

That is a lot for today already @WIP When do you go to hospital Hon?

In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @WIP, sitting with you today. I hope it helps being here.

Thinking of you,

Sphinxly.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Pulling up a beanbag and sitting with you for a bit @WIP

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thanks @Bow @Former-Member @Zoe7 @Anastasia

Another shi!!y afternoon. Texting my sister and letting her know how bad I am and that I just want to die,'the depression,'the loneliness, no family support' & the only reason I'm still here is Mum, because Mum has said 'she'd never forgive me if I did do something to myself' & what do I get back from her, big fat NOTHING!! She's the one who bought it up (will only communicate via text)! She texts me & gets me to open up & share thoughts/plans and then ignores me. I feel 1000 worse, but confirms she doesn't care & I have no one. Cant keep fighting this battle solo.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Oh @WIP that is very disappointing for you. It really sounds like you need support right now and we are here with you but I was also wondering if contacting a SANE counsellor might help. I know you have not have great experiences before with help lines but they are wonderful - and have a chat function so you can type rather than talk - just a suggestion Hon because we all here value you a lot, are sitting with you but also want you to have the support you deserve

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Oh @WIP I want to come and take you away somewhere nice and safe and reassure you that this day won’t last.

Sitting with you, sending love and hugs and agreeing with @Zoe7 that contacting SANE at times such as this is always a better option.

I’ll boil the jug and make us all a cuppa. Did you see the orchids I sent you yesterday?

💜🤗🤗💜

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Oh @WIP

I'm so sorry, that would just make you feel like :pile_of_poo: it would have taken a lot of courage to send her the text.

I echo @Zoe7 SANE are sensational please reach out for support hun. In the mean time sitting here with you xoxo

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@Eve7 @WIP @Zoe7 @Bow @Former-Member all here, I baked some treats to accompany our cuppas x

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@WIP, i'm pretty worried that things are feelings much worse for you now. I'm going to check in privately via email.

In this with you,

Sphinxly.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thanks @Former-Member @Anastasia @Zoe7 @Eve7

@Eve7 I appreciate the orchids, they are lovely

@Anastasia Thanks for the treats - yum

@Zoe7 Thanks for the suggestion, I may try them for some support. But at the end of the day, I'll still be on my own, majorly depressed, with no hope or no one in my life. I can't see things getting better. Just shi!over as each day passes.

@Former-Member Im alright. I'm going to stop posting tonight. I'm just on a really bad place and can't see a way out.

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