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Something’s not right

Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I'm doing ok now @Anastasia Just a bit of a glitch to overcome but I'm getting there.

How's your Dad? and your boys?

We have to wear masks here now and it's all made a big change to what's going on for me but I know it's harder foor you.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I'm sorry about the gliche @Eve7

I'm happy to hear you're getting there 💕

Argh covid is a nightmare isn't it.

My Dad hasn't improved sadly. I'm quite concerned. Can't see them due to lockdown. My boy is doing ok today thank goodness, thank you for asking xox

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Yes, covid is a nightmare @Anastasia and I think we're going to be stuck with it for a while yet.

I'm sorry about your Dad not improving and that you can't visit him but I'm pleased your boy has been ok today

I suppose you're working from home again and I wish I was but my boss has sent me some work to do which I am really glad about as it means they haven't given up on me yet.

You are such a precious lady and I am really glad to have met you here. I see how you've been helping so many people in your new role. You're a real champion. xox

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I think so too @Eve7 sadly. Our new way of life 😔

Aww @Eve7 don't really feel like I'm doing much but I appreciate your kind words. I am so blessed to have met you here too.

Yes I am working from home all week. I've been to a hot spot area but not an actual venue so lying low in the hope where I went doesn't surface 🤞

That is wonderful that you are able to work from home Eve. Of course your boss hasn't given up on you. He sees what we all see 💞

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thanks @Anastasia . I am still in hospital and my boss sent some work here. I was hoping someone else would have finished it by now but, no, it's mine to finish.

I just read an interesting article on the SANE website about Open Dialog and how it decreases hospitalisation and meds when its used effectively. It is similar to what my pdoc uses and I think its why she didn't want me going to the private clinic.

When I was there before I thought some people treated it like a resort and they seemed to all know each other from previous stays.I know it sounds funny but truly they were all dressing up for dinner each night as if they were at The Ritz, complete with their pearls and diamond rings. My pdoc says I'll be out much sooner from the public hospital.

Of course it's quite eye opening here too but I have my own room and I'm classed as a private patient so we'll see. Hopefully I'll be out on Friday.

Sorry for rambling on about me tonight. I know you're pooped so please don't feel you have to stay. I just like knowing you and Em are around. xox

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Gosh I didn't realise you were working in hospital!!! See you are much needed and valuable. Just do what you can though. Take care of YOU @Eve7

Ohhhh, I will take a look thank you. I don't know about Open dialog. I'm gathering it's not on offer at the private clinic?

What you say about all knowing each other etc, yes it's sounds familiar here as well. Quite often my boy crosses paths with the "usual suspects". One of the reasons why I try not to divulge too much about him. It can be a small world. I remember his first admission ignorantly thinking that would "fix" him. Seems like a life time ago now. Pearls and diamond rings haha, I can bearly do my hair even on a good day!!! I really hope you can be out by Friday Eve 🤞

Please don't apologise I'm always here for you. You are extremely special to me Eve 💞

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

This pdoc I have now doesn't go to any of the private hospitals here. Yes, we have to be very careful what we say and sometimes I change days around when talking about what has happened. Some people are very perceptive at picking up on things @Anastasia

I just have to complete a plan that I started as its required for a meeting so I won't be taking too long on it.

I am about to turn out the light and pack up ready for the land of nod. Thanks for keeping me company. Take care my precious friend.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thank you for the chat gorgeous, sleep well and take care. Love you lots @Eve7

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Love you more @Anastasia

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Sending you both love @Anastasia @Eve7 💚
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