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Something’s not right

Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

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In response to: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

It's just so difficult and painful @Eve7

I'm running out of strength doing this all on my own.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Eve7Senior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

It’s exhausting when pain is so difficult @WIP I am still here with you listening and crying about this wretched illness.

🤗😢🤗

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

Thank you @Eve7

On one hand it's comforting to know that you understand how I feel and what I'm going through, but on the other hand, I hate knowing that you understand and feel the same.

I've just got no hope. I've tried so many different medications and therapies and after two excruciating years of being like this everyday, I don't care about myself anymore.
It wouldn't matter if I wasn't here.

You know, my sister actually text me and said I'm surprised you haven't done anything to yourself yet, I expect you to given how difficult your life is😢😢

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

@Anastasia

A got a win this afternoon & contacted my health fund. They have agreed to waiver the $500 excess, given it's so close to the anniversary date and I thought it was June 30th.

And thanks to your advice, I'll be swapping over to HCF who offer no excess - as soon as I feel a bit more stable and think I'll be able to see out their 2 month waiting period on psychiatric hospital admissions.

I feel better. I've actually achieved something......

In response to: Re: Changing meds

AnastasiaSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

I'm so happy @WIP don't underestimate that win. Go you xox

Thank you for sharing 😊

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

Thanks @Anastasia

Do the Sydney 'stay at home' (lockdown) rules affect you and your family?

In response to: Re: Changing meds

AnastasiaSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

No thank goodness. Still very anxious due to it though, as it's all around us and I work with some that it does. Feel like Bat girl leaving the house with my super powers and Cape

@WIP

My boys sw is locked down from midnight tonight 😔

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

I understand your anxiety around the lockdown @Anastasia We are sort of pros at it here in Melbourne. As long as everyone does the right thing, its less stressful. Your premier has handled things so very well.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

AnastasiaSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

My boy is supposed to be going to Queensland. Crossing every ounce of my being he gets there. We have a week for things to improve so borders will hopefully open 🙏 @WIP

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

I'll keep everything crossed too that your boy gets to Qld @Anastasia

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