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Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thank you @WIP

Its hard to say it's sorted, but possibly closer to the mark 🤞Time will tell.

Yes he's home and doing well.

He has new supports and so I am hoping with an improvement in mood as a result of the supports maybe the need for some of the meds won't be necessary long term...again time will tell. That's my wish to the Universe. The fact that he had the bar therapy was huge since he bagged me about mine on our walks, saying I was seeing the witch Dr again hahah.

I think the changes he saw in me convinced him to try.

I'm working hard on positive changes all round to empower him to be more in control of his decisions and day to day activities. I've taken the back seat and just there as a sounding board.

All of which wouldn't be possible without my bar therapy and my new found relationship awareness of my friend the Universe.

Hope I don't sound too crazy!!!

Hahaha 😁

Let me know how you go. Great to hear from you L x

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I'm glad to hear his meds are closer to the mark, and they are only one part of the equation in starting to get better. Hopefully the news supports will help him immensely. From my experience, I need human interaction and that makes all the difference. Yes, medical ppl - pdocs,

psychologist, group therapy all help, but the human on one seems to be the key for me. Fingers crossed it will work for him too 🤞

He's come so far in the past fortnight - eg, going to Bar Therapy, continuing his walks with you, wanting a peer worker, it just wonderful in comparison to where he was his first few days in hospital.
Im glad you're in a position where you can take the back seat, but be there to catch him if he falls. The Universe is giving you signs that things are in the improve. Embrace it, hopefully there will be more to come.

Quick funny story about Levi.

Last night on Ch 10s The Living Room, they had a special on choosing the right dog for your family. He'd seen the ads and gone crazy whenever they were on - jumping up at the wall each side of the tv, whimpering, talking to the dogs. So, I thought w we'll watch it last night and see how he goes. My god!! He went so over the top. I had to change the channel after 15mims & then he kept looking at me whimpering, then looking at the tv wondering where the 'doggies' had gone.

Every time there's an add with dogs,

animals of any type, he does the same thing. If there's a serious drama on, with matching music, he sits there intensely watching.

Ive either got a very smart dog on my hands, a crazy one or I watch too much tv. Probably the later!'

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Oh @WIP how adorable!!!!!

Such a cutie. I think he's your guardian angel sent to watch over you, very smart and very intuitive and VERY able to communicate what he wants to watch 🙏✔️🐶🐾❣️🤗😁

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I tell you @Anastasia he's so entertaining! A bit of a bitter, but in a good way. I'd be lost without him. I misss my Ollie dog everyday, as he was my first fur baby and with me for 14 years, but I love Levi just as much, in a different way.

He communicates to me in so many ways, I just WISH he'd use the doggie door. I may have to get a smaller one installed.

Have a good day. 🤗💞💞😉

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Super cute. Could you tape paper the same colour as the door over the doggie door top and sides so it "appears" smaller to Levi? Lol dogs are funny aren't they @WIP

🤣🐾🐶🐾

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thanks for the suggestion, but he really has a fear of the doggie dog @Anastasia

Weve had several stand offs where I leave him outside &'he knows I haven't left the house, so he just sits there waiting. His head is much smaller than Ollie's, so not sure if that has anything to do with it. If I leave the back door open overnight (not very safe, I know), but he'll go outside when he needs. During this cold weather, during the day I've left the back door open for him, but the the precious little shit, won't go outside and go wees on the puppy pads!! Sometimes, he'll let me know that be needs to go outside,

butnits not a regular thing.

I def have a problem on my hands.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Oh @WIP he is cheeky!

The joys of being a Mumma! 🐶🤗💞

In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds


@WIP wrote:

I'm glad lockdown is over, but some damage has been done to my MH, so I've gone backwards a bit, which is really disappointing.


Sorry to hear, @WIP 😞

A support worker visited my neighbour in her home on Friday - I hope it's possible for you too. Or that you can maybe meet at a cafe, if not...?

I'm coping with the cold weather now I have power back, yay! Hope you're keeping warm. 💙

In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Good morning @WIP leaving a squishy hug for you and your furbaby 💕🤗

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Good Morning @NatureLover

I'll be right, unused to building myself up again after falling. This new peer worker will help a lot I'm sure. I'm pretty confident she'll be able to come to my house, but to honest, I'd like to go out for a bit - get out of the house.

I'm thrilled that you've got power back on. You have so much strength to be able to survive without it. I would have gone to my Mum's if it happened here. I'm quite lucky actually, as a couple of surrounding suburbs lost power, not sure for how long tho.

Keep warm 💕

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