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Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thank you @NatureLover big shoes to fill but feel blessed x

Can I just say, you are an amazing Guide. Inspirational is an understatement 🙏💞

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

You made me blush, @Anastasia - thank you for your kind words.

It seems to me you were doing Community Guide stuff right from when you joined...you're a natural. 🙂

In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi lovely @Anastasia

So nice to hear from you this morning. I didn't sleep well & just can't seem to shake this cold that keeps lingering - it's worse in the mornings.

I'm really happy to hear that your Dad has improved since his jab. Sounds as though it was just after effects. How's his health going otherwise? I hope he's comfortable and not feeling too many nasties from the cancer.

I'm soldiering on, but I won't lie - it's not easy. So many psych specialist appointments, and they've all swapped to Telehealth now. I'm not coping as well with this lockdown, even though it's only been over a week I think. It's this strain of covid that Im really worrying about. It's so much more

contagious and some reports are saying that this covid jab won't necessarily protect you. So I'm not going out unless absolutely necessary - supermarket & chemist.
it's pretty chilly in Melbs atm &'forecast to be wet this week. Lucky I have decent heating!

Hi to @NatureLover too. I understand what you are saying about this lockdown.

💞🤗🤗💞

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

It is concerning @WIP , I think it's sensible to only go out if necessary. Better to be safe than sorry.

At awful as chilly and wet weather is at least you can tell yourself that you aren't missing anything by staying at home.

Movies, books, colouring books, diamond painting, cuddles with Levi, crosswords, all those types of activities sound good under the circumstances x

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi sweetheart, @WIP

I feel like it has been forever, I am sorry.

My boy had bar therapy today and said he feels amazing...just wanted to let you know as I recall you were investigating it.

How are you coping with the lockdown, in general, what's happening?

Big hugs to you and Levi sweets xox

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi darling @Anastasia

I've left you alone as I know how much your juggling atm, but have always been thinking of you and your boy.

Wow, so he did bar therapy and really enjoyed it. I'm definately going to follow up with the local place I found. She was out of action during May, as she'd had some form of operation.

lockdown! - well I haven't coped very well at all. The uncertainty was tough, but the isolation for me really triggered my depression & anxiety. Memories of how bad I'm got last year, kept coming into my head. At least it's been lifted for the time being.

I have a support worker now, and we met just before lockdown. She's really lovely and will help me with getting motivated to do stuff and get going again. I'm also seeing the pdoc every fortnight (monitoring meds) and the psychologist. Plus the DBT course. It's a lot and feel very overwhelmed after some appointments - recovery/therapy isn't easy. Honestly, sometimes it's just too much for me - particularly after being in hospital for just over 2 weeks and attended group every day.

Hows your Dad going & your Mum?

Thanks for letting me know about your boys experience with Bar Therapy. 💞🤗💞

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I thought you'd appreciate the feedback. It took a few seeds here and there but he was open to it and said he really got so much out of it 🤞

It sounds awful @WIP , I'm glad it's been lifted. Let's hope it stays that way 🙏

I love that you have regular support. It is a lot. I understand how much it takes out of you but Its worth it, you're worth it L 💞 Remember that 🤗

Mum and Dad are ok, had pizza night tonight, it's always lovely. I'm tired now, a big day. Might call it a night I think.

Love and hugs and thank you for.your update xox

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@WIP , thinking of you, happy that lockdown's been lifted for you (and me too). With the rule of not going into other people's houses, can your support worker come round? Or do you have to meet out at a cafe or something?

Take care 💛

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @NatureLover , thank you for your thoughtful note. I'm glad lockdown is over, but some damage has been done to my MH, so I've gone backwards a bit, which is really disappointing.

I'll be in touch with my support worker next week to set up a time -'they don't know yet if they can go into peoples homes.

How are you going? Coping with the chilly weather? I hate it.

Take care 💞

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

That's so encouraging that your boy was interested in trying Bar Therapy. It means he's open to trying new things. Is his medication all sorted out? Hope so! And he's at home with you? I hope he's travelling along alright. You sound as though you've got a bit more of a spring in your step.

Its so good you've kept up the traditional pizza Friday night. Such a great, great idea. I'm glad you're parent are doing well.

Keep looking after yourself gorgeous!

💞🤗🤗💞

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