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Something’s not right

Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

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In response to: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

Thanks @Anastasia

Ive taken a med, that I'm supposed to use for emergencies only. Crying for 9 hours straight is an emergency to me. I'm running out of them tho, only have a few left.

thanks for being here for me, but you don't have to.

I hope to sleep soon.

im in a really bad way and don't think I can hang on much longer. Over made my mind up, I don't want to hang on -'there's no point.

as both the crisis lines said to me, you've been like this for a really long time, that must be so hard. And it is hard, too hard for me anymore.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

AnastasiaSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

Yes crying for 9 hours would be extremely exhausting and soul destroying @WIP.

I'm sure they said that for compassionate reasons rather than judgemental ones. I really feel for you. It's such a long road but each day is a day closer to your end goal of being well. I'm sorry today's been extra tough. I wish I could be more to you L, I'd be there for you in a heartbeat xox

I am sending you love, strength and hope 💞💪🙏

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Unknown userMember

Re: Changing meds

Hey @WIP, I'm so sorry you're feeling so hopeless. It sounds like you've had an exhausting day. I'm going to check in via email shortly as I am worried for your wellbeing.

Talk soon,

Sphinxly 🐣

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Emelia8Senior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

I'm hearing you @WIP 👂💓

And I feel for you with your current sense of hopelessness 💔

You under estimate your own strength @WIP . I know you have it in you to hang on until the tide turns. Which it will, it always does. And with it, will be a fresh start, a cleansing, a renewal. Sitting here with you beautiful @WIP 🌷

Emelia

In response to: Re: Changing meds

AnastasiaSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

@WIP 💪🌷💕

In response to: Re: Changing meds

AnastasiaSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

Love you @WIP

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

Love you too beautiful @Anastasia

Thinking of you! xxx

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Eve7Senior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

I’ll share my lunch with you @WIP I have a new season juicy delicious apple.

I’m walking this journey with you every day and won’t be leaving you alone.

💜💚🤗🤗💚💜

In response to: Re: Changing meds

AnastasiaSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

@WIP 🐶💞🐶💞🐶💞🐶

In response to: Re: Changing meds

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

@WIP 🌻💚
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