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Something’s not right

Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

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In response to: Changing meds

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

@Lee82

In response to: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

Thanks for the offer to talk about what's making me anxious, but that'll make me worse I fear @outlander

my story is long and complicated and I've had hit after hit after hit recently - particularly from the mental health professionals & being treating very poorly by them.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

thats ok @WIP
i have been following along lately just not to much today as ive not been online
it is super hard when everything seems to be going wrong and no relief in sight. even worse when your treated poorly along the way
how about we work on managing your anxiety for now

have you tried splashing water on your face? or the socks?
what normally helps you?

In response to: Changing meds

Lee82Senior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

I am hearing you about your pdoc hun. It is very much not fair and you should feel safe and well supported and not intimidated at all.
it does sound like being in hospital is the best place for you and I know you are scared about detoxing but I can tell you that it is done in a controlled manner and done very slowly as so you don't feel the effects too much.
I also can understand the panic you are feeling with this news just being dumped in your lap all of a sudden and it may take a couple days before you can get your head around it and feel a little more positive about it. I had the same experience where hospitalisation was just dumped on me and I freaked out too. But after a few days I was able to calm down and realise that it was the best choice and what I needed the most at the time.
I truly hope you start to feel a little calmer and your anxiety diminishes which will help you to be able to think a little more clearly.
here for you and holding your hand. @WIP

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Lee82Senior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

How have you been hun?

@outlander

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

I've tried a cold pack and cold water on my face @outlander

Sometimes I take a really hot shower, and then blast myself with cold. But it's too hot tonight to do that.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

Thank you very much @Lee82

I'm in a bit of shock and do need time to get my head around it. I know it's the best thing for me, but not under this guys care...

I just don't trust this pdoc that he'll detox me in a slow manner - last time he did cold turkey and I've never forgot that feeling.
We can't do cold turkey this time, because I've been on them for over a year since.

He says 2 weeks in hospital, but if detox is done is a slow, controlled manner, it'll be a month at least.

I just don't trust him and can't think clearly about this atm. I hope to be able to after a few days.

Thanks for holding my hand. I'm so alone.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Lee82Senior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

You are not alone here @WIP . We are all here for you.
perhaps you can speak with your gp about your pdoc and your worries about staying under his care whilst in hospital. I'm not sure if they can do something about it for you before you go in.
I think maybe a good nights rest will help you hun. Tomorrow is a new day!
@WIP

In response to: Re: Changing meds

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

@WIP if you dont trust this pdoc, would changing be an option at all? Its hard when we don't feel we can trust them or when they dont treat you well.
Maybe try to sleep on it for now, you dont have to make a decision tonight. I know much easier said then done of course.
Sometimes medications can be reduced abit quicker in a hospital setting. Definitely not cold turkey but sometimes they will reduce the dose in days rather then weeks ie reduce the dose abit every few days till your on the low/no dose.
Your stay can be extended if need be and also you can request for a second opinion whilst in hospital as well esp if your not handling the reduction

In response to: Re: Changing meds

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: Changing meds

@Emelia8 💕
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