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Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Stopping by @WIP with some hugs for you. Hope you are ok?

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@WIP 🤗💞🌷🐕🐾💐💕

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thank you very much @Anastasia @Bow @Emelia8 for your posts on my thread & for thinking of me.

Ive had a big week of appointments, many more than I have been able to attend successfully in a long time. I didn't cancel or not show up to any - big achievement for me. Very minor in comparison to what you are all going through. You are all in my thoughts every day.
💞🐾

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Wow!

No it's not minor, it's massive. From the eyes of a Mum who's boy struggles to make it to any appointments, I know what it takes. Please give yourself a massive pat on the back L.

You are incredible 😚💗

@WIP

🐾🐕🌷💐

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Oh thanks @Anastasia That's really kind of you. You've made me feel good about myself.

It has been a big week, worth celebrating.
Centrlink,'Psychologist, DBT group, haircut, GP & Osteo appts this week. And, walked every day.

Pretty good achievement for me. I'm looking forward to telling my psychologist about it on Tuesday. Feeling flat today, but not surprised. I pushed myself this week, and knew it wouldn't last forever.

More steps forward than backwards this week ✔️

Im glad you took the holiday this week, even though it was interrupted with worry and concern for your boy. Plus disappointment from your other son. Main thing, you got to spend quality time with your Dad & create beautiful memories. You don't know if you'll get the chance to do that again. Your gorgeous bf, shouldn't be disappointed that your first trip away together had a few hiccups. I'm sure he's proud and grateful that he got the chance to go away with you & your parents.

You're the incredible one!!

Love you - WIP & Levi

🦋💞💞🐾🦋

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

top effort for you this week @WIP well done.

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Dear @WIP

You certainly have had a big week with appointments and some pretty major accomplishments. Totally disagree with you that what you are going through is minor ... it definitely aint! And yes, you (and other members who I am close to here) are regularly and often in my thoughts through the days also. I often find myself wondering "what would ? be up to at this time of day" or "I hope ? is okay" or "I wish I could be there and help ? in a practical way".

I think that's a pretty normal reaction ... as we develop close connections with others here, and worry how our good friends are getting along. And just generally wish we could help someone here whom we care about a lot.

Online relationships can be quite frustrating of course. The number of times all I've really wanted to do is to actually BE THERE for someone who is struggling. That really hard.

However, I do not underestimate the benefits of online support or relationships. The forums have been of enormous benefit to me in the past, and the present. Like you, I do not have any friends nearby. And I do not talk about my MI issues with any family members either. The very few people in my life who I could reasonably call friends, live a long way away. So its hard. And there are difficulties involved as well.

I digress. You really have accomplished a lot this week @WIP and I am super proud of you and very happy for you.

Its also wonderful that you have some successes to relate to your psychologist on Tuesday. I have no doubt that you will continue to clock up many more victories. There is much truth to the old saying that "success breeds success". And you're on a roll.

I have no doubt there will still be some setbacks ahead of you. It would be unrealistic to expect otherwise. But I know you can overcome them. And I'm now confident that you have a really supportive and competent MH team around you. More steps forward this week, than backwards. Definitely something to celebrate.

So how are we to help you celebrate today or this evening @WIP? It would give me great pleasure to hear that you were able to do something or go somewhere to make your successes seem significant in some way. Because you have had significant achievements this week, and they are definitely worthy of celebrating.

Even if its just to have a special dinner along with a glass or wine/champagne, a nice cocktail or an ice cold beer. Whatever your choice of celebratory drink. Let me know if you plan to do that, and I will try to be here to celebrate with you.

And @WIP ... by the way, @Anastasia is not the only incredible one around here. You too are pretty special. As is @Bow and @Eve7.

Gee .. we are a pretty incredible bunch here arent we? 😂

Hope everyone here has had a good day, and evening to come.

Emelia 🤗💞

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Love you all so much @Emelia8 @WIP @Bow @Anastasia

Cant ever thank you enough xxx

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thank you beautiful @Emelia8

Your post is so supportive - thank you.
I've crashed and burned this arvo. It's ok. I half expected it after my big week.
Let's celebrate next weekend - when we are all

around and feeling ok.

I so hope Holly is alright. I'm sorry, I don't know much to say other than that. I know just how you feel, as I only lost Ollie dog in Oct 19. Too soon.
Give her as much live and affection as you can - it will help her heal.

touch base 2mrw.

Hi to @Anastasia @Bow @Eve7 👋👋

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Okay @WIP ... shall do. 🌷😄

Holly seems to be doing okay. 🐶

You will bounce back, I know it.

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