Changing meds

Dear @Anastasia @Former-Member

Thank you very much for sharing, please don't delete so I can go and read when I'm less upset.

Im sorry, I can't reply at the moment.

inkuat need someone to love me and hold me and convince me that I'll be alright. But I've got no one and trying to cope on my own is bloody hard. I'm fighting my negative thoughts all day long....and they're winning.

I'm here for you sweetie. I won't delete so no hurry. Xx @WIP

Don't worry. I won't delete it until you are ready. No rush to reply. I'm happy to be here for you. Wish I could be there in real life.
I've been there. It will pass. I know it doesn't feel like it at the moment.
🤗💞 @WIP

@WIP

Dear @Anastasia @Former-Member

Thank you very much for sharing, please don't delete so I can go and read when I'm less upset.

Im sorry, I can't reply at the moment.

I really need someone to love me and hold me and convince me that I'll be alright. But I've got no one and trying to cope on my own is bloody hard. I'm fighting my negative thoughts all day long....and they're winning.

I don't trust my psychiatrist, and he's one of the main reasons I do t want to go into hospital. He's taken me off anti anxiety meds cold turkey and put me through ECT which I came out of worse.
I don't trust him, The last 2 rounds of AD changes, I asked for what I wanted to take. They didn't work and He put me on an MAOI (take the sledgehammer approach as he put it) and the insomnia side effects of that almost drove me crazy. Then he increased my anti anxiety meds to sleep & now im hooked on them.

I cry every day - I've been crying since 9am. I can't live like this anymore. I don't want to live like this anymore.
My sister told me again I'm the reason for her anxiety. So she's no support. And mum is trying her best, but we don't know what the right thing to do is either. She doesn't trust my psychiatrist either as she saw me change while in hospital.

Im scared guys, I can't think straight or in a position to make decisions. No one will help me. The crisis lines just tell you to breath, the CAT team are under staffed and if I call 000 I'm scared of the hospital they will take me to.

I think I need to push through till tomorrow & talk to my hospital.

it would be good to know if local GPS are able to administer sedatives. It's going to be a long day otherwise.

@Emelia8 @BPDSurvivor

@Former-Member I so wish my forum friends could be here with me, or even able to phone them.

you understand and you get it.

Will it pass @Former-Member I've been like this all year, most days. Only 1'or 2 okayish days per week

Okay @WIP , I wasnt aware you did not trust your psychiatrist. Any chance of a referral to a different one?

Not sure if GPs can administer something to help you, but it could be a good idea to ask. Perhaps your psychologist could advise on that, and she may also be able to contact your GP to support you around what can be done.

I reciprocate what you said about forum friends. 👍

Emelia 💞

Hey @WIP,

So sorry to see you're having a hard day and things are feeling hopeless. You've been through so much and I can see how you're trying so hard to persevere through the treatment changes.

I'm going to check in privately via email so keep an eye out

Here with you,

Sphinxly 🐣

Yes, it does get better. I went through it for a very, very long time, because I didn't have the right support. I kept trusting the specialists. Now I only trust myself and my own judgement. @WIP

Can you change psychiatrists? That's not at all helpful having a psychiatrist that you don't trust. No wonder you don't want to go to hospital. I'd be looking for another psychiatrist for sure.

The meds the last one put me on were disastrous. I nearly died. I weaned myself off them. When I did my research on the medication, I was shocked. I can't bring myself to try any others. 2 of them were unbelievable. I remember being out at the local markets, feeling like I was going to d##. My heart was beating so fast. It was scary. I decided then that I'd go off them. The other one, oh my gosh. She gave it to me for sleep and anxiety. I only tried it a few times. I remember getting up in the night time not being able to walk. That was the end of that one. Not that I'm recommending that you wean yourself off medication on your own. It pays to be super careful.
The counselling I had years ago was very helpful. Since then I've been doing own research, on google and reading books from the library. Books with heaps of info and self help books.
I have found that very helpful. The most help was my own research. 🥰

I don't like seeing the gp anymore. Whenever I've asked for prn, she says, see a psychiatrist. Hmm! No way. I won't ever go down that road again. What really sucks is, I can tolerate prn and have had them on and off for years and am not addicted. Yet, the gps won't prescribe them for me. I really freaked out when I first found out. Now I try and keep the box I have for emergencies. Like having biopsies, going to the dentist etc. @WIP