Connect with people who understand what you are going through,
seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're
free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
I don't know why I am really writing this. There seems to be part of me which says that I need to pull my head in and do this alone and another part who so desperately wants to reach out for help. I am really struggling. I'm not coping at all. For much of the day I've thought about all the reasons to die and there are hundreds. There is also one reason to live that keeps me here. I can't let down my oldest son and cut out his trip of a lifetime. He would have to come home and pick up all the pieces for everyone. I keep telling myself I have to hold on until he comes back and then I can let go but this keeps me waiting to die not choosing to live. I have a cold sore that now goes from the corner of my eye the length of my nose and it's slowly creeping across my face from stress. It started on Wednesday and each morning I wake to find more of my face engulfed by it. I am so tired. I am so sorry to write this and I know I'm so lucky to have friends on here that care. I don't want anyone to have to deal with this as it is so depressing so I started this thread as a way of saying that I'm not well when writing here and please don't feel obliged to read or respond.
Hope you are ok and got a couple of things done today. Every little bit counts.
Take good care of yourself.
In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment
Unknown userMember
Re: I am struggling at the moment
Hi @Former-Member, @Former-Member, @Former-Member, @utopia, @Faith-and-Hope, @Decadian, @Appleblossom
im ok, sorry for going AWOL again but it was because I've been busy with my parents and shopping etc. I've read all the posts and would love to respond but I need to sleep as I have to be out the house by 8:30am for my sons footy final. I am doing way better than I was and found allyour posts really helpful and think we have struck a chord with the filter @Faith-and-Hope. It was on my mind today a bit although I've spent hours on a computer today making a photo book with my mum for her birthday coming up soon. Anyway I hope everyone is travelling ok and will hopefully catch up tomorrow after my 6 hours of footy 😳 Thank you all so much for contributing to this conversation. 💜😊
In response to: I am struggling at the moment
Unknown userMember
Re: I am struggling at the moment
He everyone,
RUOK @Former-Member? under the circumstances. Its really hard to change old patterns, we have to replace them.
@Decadian, you're such a trooper, inspire me. Should have bonked that rude person on the head when she laughed out loud about your crutches. How rude, probably on drugs or restarted. Glad u spoke up but something tells me cretin head didn't get the point. I wish people were more kind. Sometimes they think they are being 'funny' ha
Pain management for chronic back issues must be draining. Do what's best for you.
In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment
Unknown userMember
Re: I am struggling at the moment
Thanks @Former-Member,
i m ok at the moment, I know I'm still having wobbly patches but compared to earlier this week I'm doing much better. I'm not sure why and maybe you feel the same but some days I can be triggered and cope ok and another day the same trigger will send me into meltdown and chaos ensues. Tonight there were some triggers that I survived that had me reaching for lifeline on Wednesday, go figure 🤔 How has your day been?
In response to: I am struggling at the moment
utopiaSenior Contributor
Re: I am struggling at the moment
@Former-Member. The photo book fod your mum sounds like a great gift. Good luck to your son for his footy tomorrow. I hope they win & I hope they enjoy the game. I'm off to bed soon. Hope tomorrow afternoon is restful. Enjoy
In response to: I am struggling at the moment
Unknown userMember
Re: I am struggling at the moment
Sorry, didn't realise you needed help before. Its hard to o be on to of it all when struggling, so forgive me. // I',m OK, kinda, it swings, I don't indrtdyand accept maybe there's more than one person onside of my. Yhr only coping I can think of is to go back to sleep. Still sleeping too much & winter doesn't help. Can't wait for spring. I got a fre thongs done today at least. Better let you ho, I have a o be up early night too in AM, don't tell anyone bit I didn't shower today - the DOA day ernt out the window. You know how that is, think you're the only one talking that "gets it" and mabe Appleblossom. Thanks.
In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment
Unknown userMember
Re: I am struggling at the moment
Sleep well @Former-Member, @utopia
hopefully get to chat when we are all more rested. Sending you good vibes for tomorrow. You to @Faith-and-Hope. I 'feel' your presence 😝😊💜
In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: I am struggling at the moment
😆 .... barely @Former-Member .... having iPad-smack-face moments here .... have dozed off multiple times ... but WH is out picking up D1 and FSIL from an event and I was trying to read some online info while he was out ....
Not really working from 2cm away .... lol ..... :face_with_rolling_eyes:😆😴
Giving up ....
Sleep well all .... 💕💤
In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment
Unknown userMember
Re: I am struggling at the moment
I have a new iPad position @Faith-and-Hope. It saves possible face damage 😝 iPad is perpendicular to bed with one hand hold it while the weight of it rests on the bed. Other hand free to type, GENIUS. 😜😄 good night sleep well 😴💤
In response to: I am struggling at the moment
Unknown userMember
Re: I am struggling at the moment
Dog woke me up, Gosh, don't know what planet I was on with that last post, so many typos not even I can figure them out. Apologies. Thought "The Spa Day went out the window" turning into DOA (dead on arrival) was funniest. Forgot to proofread, sorry, and was tired. Quitting now before I do it again 😕
@Faith-and-Hope, sounds like the movie was a little disappointing but good to be together. So encouraging WH is making a little effort.
Descriptions of iPads smashing face cracks me up. You guys! lol
We're improving how you access SANE services, starting with Forums
You’ll soon be able to use one secure login to access all SANE services.
For added security, members are now required to log in with their email address and password - member names are no longer supported for logging in.
If you had a Forums account before 19 May 2026 and haven’t set up your new login yet, you'll be prompted to set up your new secure login when you sign-in.
