I am struggling at the moment

Hi @Former-Member

About the crazy woman laughing and pointing and yelling at me about being lucky to have crutches

There has to be something wrong with such people - alright - people can point and stare - but laugh like that - really weird - and good to have some back-up on that

Maybe she should have been bonked - a person with crutches has two handy weapons - but then - as tempting as the thought is after the event - it would have been assault - and very hard to know if the law had been on my side - regarding mental and emotional assault -

As a person with a physical disability as well as emotional fragility - oh gee - which is worse - there has to be some law against discrimination when it comes to physical disabillities and being mocked and teased - etc - but. is there one about people being laughed at and marginalised because of their MI - or mental distress -

I do go out alone - I travel alone - and mostly I cope pretty well - but the supermarket and crowds are difficult - people can mill around in unpredictable ways - I struggle - my lumbar spine can go into spasms and it's scary - I have been knocked over and need the paramedics to get me to my feet sometimes - right in the checkout of the supermarket a young man knocked me down - apologized and disappeared - forget about him - but then - several different people rang 000 and I had three ambulances and a fireman - the first responder was a fireman - they are trained too - and I was okay - just couldn't get up from a shiny surface alone

But then - about those people like us who have an invisible disorder - people can cause us grief of all kinds - easier for me because the eldest child often has a different training from the time the second child is born - and gets vocal - the younger children seem intent on bugging the younger ones so I developed a hide early in life

But when I hear of people who are emotionally and mentally damaged I feel a deep rage inside - it must be hard enough when people turn away - but maybe that is the best they can do and better to turn away than to stare or say thoughtless things

Some people - many here - must suffer mental torture - and the cruel comments start in childhood - because some people are silent, withdrawn, can't read or write, can't relate to other people or to life well - hey - does this not make life worse.

Some people are bonkers - and need bonking - and these people just make life harder on people who live on a delicate edge

Here endeth the lesson

Decadian

Hi @Former-Member

I hope your little Kirra has a better quality of life as she gets older after a rough time so far - it is precious and special to have a furkid with special needs - I am sure they develop a soul - and they enhance our lives - and the universe does not forget kindness

My furry little friend is fine - her coat is long atm and getting scruffy - so spring is definitely on the way. She has special needs too - she has to be on a special diet to prevent her from getting crystals in her bladder - this is called FLUTD - Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disorder and is serious, painful and life-threatening - male cats die very quickly if they get it - females have a better chance because of their anatomy.

I will never forget how sick she was - she was not quite fully grown and cried like a baby - and I have been around cats all my life and never heard a cat sob like that - she had several visits to the vet and eventually the crystals broke down and she passed so much urine her kidneys must have been stressed - she is nearly 13 now and this is the longest time I have had a pet - so she is special - and bossy right now - this is winter telling us a thing or too - it's time for it to be over - it has been a bad winter for many - and for me - the support of this forum has been wonderful

I have never met such a great bunch of caring people - thanks everyone

@Former-Member

You have to be among the originally battlers - you do a fantastic job with all the ups and downs and always have a kind word and shout out from time to time - yours is a story that I feel priviledge to read - yet honestly - I might have missed it - but I don't know what the original problem is/was - but does that matter? - it's your journey I am reading

Good work

Dec

Im wound too tight at the moment and I'm feeling scared. I know I have to push through the next few hours with my sons grand final but after that I'm scared I'll implode as urges coming more and more and I've woken up in the same place . Could do with a healthy adult, would normally turn to my therapist at this point but can't as its out of business hours.

Hi @Former-Member ...... 🌷💜🌷💜🌷

I'm here ..... breathe ..... this is a good time to remember mindfulness ..... I think that's what @Former-Member would be saying ❣

You have said that it helps to steady you to write here .... so talk to me for a bit and see if that helps to sett what you're feeling down ❣

There was so much going on in the forums last night, I ended up just tracking along .... way behind .... For most of it .... then fell asleep by the time I came to telling you about my day ..... which was nothing too exciting .... but I'm happy to tell you about it now .... ?😊

I don't even know what is wrong with me @Faith-and-Hope. Nothing has happened I'm just drowning. I'm feeling like the weakest link everywhere including on here.

💜🌷

I'm not an expert with this @Former-Member .... but my natural response is that it sounds like you have a "fearful inner child" who is talking to a "people-pleaser" in there .... and the two of them are unsettling you big-time ....

I think the reason you are looking to speak to a grounding adult is to be able to hear a voice of adult reason over those voices that are fearful and imagining the worst ....

If it doesn't do it for you to chat about this sort of thing here with me .... then maybe call Lifeline and have a chat ... but I hope it helps you to understand that we are made up of these inner elements ... and giving too much attention to parts of us who are feeling insecure means that the "body corporate" is going to end up feeling that way ....

I am hoping that this fit with the sort of thing your therapist is saying ,.,. because the last thing I want to do is confuse you ..... ❣

You hit the nail on the head @Faith-and-Hope. I'm crying so much now and need to pull myself together to leave. I may be on later. Thank you so much. 💜😊💐

Just another word ... if I can catch you before you leave ....

You have a set of mature adults within you too @Former-Member .... you know that because you have been raising kids, and doing a fair fist of that under spextremely trying circumstances ....

That takes courage .... so you have someone with strong courage on board ....

You also have a strong sense of justice going on .... so there's an adjudicator in there somewhere too ....

With time, support, encouragement, you will get your inner family back into a place where they can natural talk to each other to balance out times of fear and high emotion ....

Go and enjoy being in the moment in the game .... ❣

And hug those boys ❣

@Former-Member

Tough one - I guess by the time you read this you will be home again and the match will be lost or one and the season will be over

I guess from what I have been reading into what you have been writing you implode when circumstances tend to drive you inside yourself and cause some kind of distance between yourself and what is going on around you - and this would be scary

Way back in my dark days when I had trouble getting through a day I somehow got from one place to another - but right now - search my mind as I will I cannot work out what the hard part was and how I dealt with it - I know there were times when I used public transport rather than drive

But regardless - by now you have been through today's wringer - I guess we are the adults outside your own adult - and we will chat when you are ready

It does sound hard when you disassociate - if this is what happens

See you when you get back

Decadian