I am struggling at the moment

Kind of awake @Faith-and-Hope , not so human yet. 🙁

Good to see you @Teej 🌷

@Faith-and-Hope Those flowers are really beautiful. I love them lots. 💜🤗

Love you lots too @Teej ...., hope you’re surfacing in a better way today ..... 💜💐

Ha ha @Teej

Sense of self deprecating humour ... idealising the human ... a bit .... maybe?

I was impressed by

@Faith-and-Hope flowers

Not this time with self deprecating humour @Appleblossom . I often use it but have been hugely affected by stuff in the last few days. Gut wrenchingly so last night. Si was about as high as it gets. I’m not quite sure how to get through the next week or if I really want to. Please don’t feel bad. I’ve been travelling ok for me on and off for a while and using self deprecating humour a bit. As you know when the big things hit they smash us. I need to find a way to live with this new guilt and shame and absolute self hate and loathing. It doesn’t come much bigger than this for me. I am incredibly angry at myself.

I care that you are hurting @Teej . While I don’t know how to make things better, I here with you anyway.

I just need a time machine @Faith-and-Hope to go back and do things differently. I’m guessing everyone here wants that too. I really don’t know how to deal with this one in a safe way yet.

Change safe for healthy @Faith-and-Hope . Last night I really wanted to sh in the different way which would have been more of an angry unleashing on my body to destroy me than for a pain release 🤬

Sorry to hear that @Teej

Sadly, Once SI becomes part of our way of thinking it is hard to shake. I still struggle that a lot.

When you value kindness it is difficult to acknowledge anger as a feeling but it usually has a source in a threat to ourselves or our loved one's safety. All those feelings tell me ...

Somehow there is a strength in you that is vital Teej. Take Care

Big Hugs