I am struggling at the moment

Hearing you @Teej ......

Are you able to accept that this is what you need for this moment ..... trying to problem solve, getting all twisted up in the process of it, calling a helpline in distress, then falling asleep ? It may be that you are working through something this way, but you are afraid of becoming addicted to the process, and are beating yourself up over it prematurely .....

There are times when we turn things over and over in our minds, trying to see something different ..... and maybe there isn’t something different to see, but that doesn’t mean that a new idea or a new way of accepting the thing can’t happen anyway ...... and it might be a new element that comes into play - the change that @CheerBear is talking about, that bumps what we have been tossing over into a new relationship ..... not because it’s any different, but because there has been some sort of change moving into that arena that we didn’t anticipate. We all do this .....

I spent a lot of time calling helplines, wanting a different answer to my situation and falling asleep in floods of tears that there wasn’t one ..... but life rolled on, and things changed, even though that thing hasn’t changed ..... and we are on a different page, with that unchanged thing still in tow, but sidelined ..... mostly ......

@Teej ..... I am so sorry this has happened, and I can hear the sense of betrayal you are feeling Hon ..... and it sucks, but you have encounteted “sucks” before ......

Its a twist in the path, sending you in a new direction, and while that can be scary, you don’t know where it might lead that other paths haven’t achieved, because they were leading here .....

You still have support here at Sane. Can you check in every day for now, and work from a plan ?

There are community / religious / relationship support groups that offer support within the community without requiring or demanding any sort of commitment to their system in return ..... and don’t require payment as a part of their ethos. Have you taken a look at any of those ?

You have skills, so it might be help in applying them that is your best support ..... having someone to walk along with you as you take the baby steps ?

@Teej ..... 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💕💕💕💕💕💕💕😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

@Faith-and-Hope, @CheerBear. I’m going to sign off for the night. Thank you for your support.

Goodnight Hon ..... I will be looking for you tomorrow .....

💜💕😘💐❣️

@Teej

@Teej Hearing you have been through difficult stuff. I dont need to know all details.

Just know that I went through a stage of calling helplines. It is important to find a place of safety and sanctuary. When we are busy mumming "the home" is also a place of work.

Wishing you LOTS of safe moments. WHen coping with continual SI being in one;s own skin can feel unsafe. Still try collecting a memory bank of SAFE GOOD moments and FEELINGS.

Its part of why I have a high need for music making atm ... but it sure as hell beats SI.

My shift from a life totally overwhelmed by it ... with it screaming at me in all sorts of unpredictable ways ... to a more mangeable experience recently ... my shift has been slow ... and you are part of my MH team ... cos you related with me emotionally from a mum to mum level ... which is what I so craved. It only had to be a few moments ... but they were enough to turn the tide.