I am struggling at the moment

Hugs and more hugs @Teej ❤️❤️❤️

HI @Teej

KobeCat here the afternoon moderator. Just checking in and glad that you were so well supported by your son.

Let me know if you need further support via email. Hang in there...

Glad you are safe

Kobe

ohhhhh @Teej, sitting with you my friend

I wanna hug your son @Teej .... ❣️

I know you really struggle to let anyone in irl, but what your son did for you last night is invaluable, and I wish for more of it for you ..... I think you have a massive grief ball locked down in there, and times like last night help to vent it out just a little bit.

You need to know how much you are loved, and how much the decisions you made were based around primary care for those you felt immmediately responsible for, and still within the marriage, it was a relationship to prioritise. None of the rest was your fault ..... and taking yourself away from your bf permanently is absolutely the worst thing you could ever do to her ..... just ask her ..... same with your boys. They will all tell you that no house is worth that to them, and they possibly couldn’t face the house as a consequence. It’s your mi whispering to you things that don’t work that way.

Hugs and hugs @Teej ..... Just you keep fighting .... 💜💜💜

So glad to hear that you were able to have that conversation with your son @Teej - im thinking that it was probably as beneficial for him as it was for you and proud of how you let him in. Might be a relief for him to have had that conversation with you in many ways as well. You are so loved and cared for @Teej - keep holding on to and for all the reasons that that love brings with it.

And here @Teej ..... 💐💜💕💐💜💕💐💜💕💐

Thank you for your support yesterday @Faith-and-Hope, @CheerBear, @Shaz51, @outlander, @Former-Member, @Exoplanet, @BlueBay, @KobeCat. 💜💜💜

Big hugs @Former-Member for coming on to write that. It meant a lot. 💜

@Faith-and-Hope I hadn’t considered that the house might have its connections changed too. Thank you for your thoughts 💜

As you you know I’m still struggling lots.....with EVERYTHING. I hadn’t slept until 8:00 am this morning. Only had a couple hours sleep since. My mood is okayish.

@Faith-and-Hope, @Sans911 (and @CheerBear if you did read it) I need to know if that post was on the recovery thread was just a jumble of crazy stuff and pretentious. I have no trust point in what I write or say, and lately it’s become chronic. Nothing feels right. I’m retreating from everything. I would really appreciate an honest answer......no beating around the bush.

Last night i spoke to my cc. I let everything come out. It was like a volcano. I told her that I knew she was frustrated with me and she denied it and I called bs and she admitted she is. It was the first time that I told anyone in cmh how much destruction and grief and loss of confidence I had from my old psychologist dropping me in the way that she did. I told her it took months of therapy to be able to cope again from that. I also spewed out stuff about my exes stuff. I think she was at a complete loss. She told me I should be getting better at staff changes at cmh because they change constantly. It didn’t help one bit. I cried on and off all night and had to fight doing what I really wanted to again. M tired but here. I am not sure how to move on again. I’m not currently suicidal.