I am struggling at the moment

Thanks @CheerBear 💜

doing okayish is about where I am at today. Trying to pull myself together to go food shopping. Just a whinge you can identify with - You know when you know what would be helpful to get back up again but it won’t work out logistically, that is where I’m at. I’ll work through it. Also just found out that so many services are going to be cut unless you are on the ndis. I just found out that the only break place here (and you have to be well to access it) will no longer be funded unless you have a ndis package. That leaves the only way to seek help is to be admitted into an acute psych ward for respite. That’s my grrr and I’m just over being me 😳:face_with_rolling_eyes:😣

Thanks for the call out. I hope your day is going ok. Hugs 💜🤗

I don’t know where and if I should write this. Somethings happened last week, things I’m supposed to have the skills to cope with but I don’t. I pushed them down but I guess haven’t coped since last Wednesday. I’ve tried so hard to find the fight it and use strategies but it’s been snowballing. I wanted it to pass but it’s not.

One of the things was reading my psych report or more like skimming it last week at my gp office. It was two pages long for a 50 min session. Today after I tried to reach out for help from more than one support I found myself sinking further. All I could feel is that I’m made for this earth. I see things others go through on the forum and am appalled at what I fall apart over and the strength of so many who don’t think they are strong.

There are a few things happening that I can reason with but the reasons don’t stick. It always comes back to if I’d just tried harder or if I was doing better or if I wasn’t me and so pathetic then these things wouldn’t be happening. The emotions around it scare me but I’ve been trying to put a brave face on.

I just researched some of the things from my psych report I couldn’t let go of. My conclusion is that I am my diagnosis. I don’t exist as a person but as my diagnosis officially. I think some parts of it I’d always thought weren’t me but they are and are in a way I don’t want to live with. I wish so much I’d been successful and not called out for help and not lived up to my diagnosis a month ago. I am and will always been hopeless and a drama queen. I will always be overwhelmed by the little things that to most people think that they are minuscule but for me they become life threatening.

I havent left my bed since Monday. I can’t face anyone anymore and my biggest wish is that I don’t wake up tomorrow.

Are you around @Faith-and-Hope.

Yes @Teej .... 💕

I’m not sure of what I need by reaching out to you. @Faith-and-Hope, I’m a bit lost.

@TeejWould you allow me to respond to your post. I need to go to sleep, and I want to give it some careful thought, but I feel I need to say something to you. I understand you have you regular supporters, but I would like to weigh in on this post.It will be all good things, so don't worry.

I don’t mind at all @Sans911. I have a couple of security blankets on the forum but I never want to be exclusive. I value others thoughts and often reread them but sometimes I don’t respond very well when I’m in emotion overload and I get mad at myself, so my initial reaction often comes from emotion mind. It’s not until after I calm down that wise mind kicks in and I regret my responses in crisis.

I hope you sleep well. 💜🤗