I am struggling at the moment

Hi @Decadian

Thanks for your message- I tend to keep things to myself.

The issue around my GP/DR I confided in her about being bullied and her comment back to me was that they didn't have to like me. I have to say it hurt me and I think it would hurt anyone. But I have to say its not the first time she has made an inapproapriate comment. I try to put myself in her shoes and if our roles were reversed what would I say to her and that would never enter my mind.

You sound very well educated @Decadian. I am sure its quite interesting reading about the history of the European Royal Family. I am not here to judge what they did either. I think in my family there has been a marrige between family members too (first cousins too I could be wrong though). I really didn't want to know it, it was before my time. My SIL did some research in the family tree and of course she let me know of this fact.

It has been a while since we last spoke @Decadian I am glad we have caught up. I love my new profile picture too. I am hoping my migraine does not stay around either or have back to back migraines. I am going to try and rest up on Thursday- I just need to have a day at the beach and relax a bit. I think it will do me wonders and I think I need to have more none days (doing nothing lol).

I hope you have been keeping well aka (Nik) oceangirl73

Hi @oceangirl

That was a strange thing for your doctor or anyone to say - it's true - but what you were saying was that you were bullied - and my natural response would be that it would hurt to be bullied - and frankly - I don't think I ever cared whether people liked me or not -

Perhaps that was because although my mother had it in for me - my dad, my grandparents and my uncles loved me and my favourite uncle told me this in later years - and I was happy at school and at sport and although my unhappiness at home was - still is - painful - I really didn't care

Nevertheless - I wasn't bullied except by my mother - and I thought she hated me and this tore me up - so I really understand what I think you are saying - okay - my mother didn't have to like me - but I think she needed to have loved me - so - why do bullies have to hate us so much?

That is an interesting subject for another thread really - so many of us have been bullied in one way or another

Yes - I am self-educated Ocean - after I had to leave school after year 10 - a good education for my time - I went to night school and then when my kids were at kinder or school I went to university - and I just love reading - and the Royal Families in Europe - most are history now - were a strange lot - Queen Victoria married her first cousin and she was pretty well totally German - a fact that is rather scary now - and her grandson Wilhelm - (Willie) was the Kaiser - and he was crackers

And I learned how inbred the Royal Families were through docos and my private reading - and found out about our history or first cousins marrying because my bro and sis are into it - and seeing as they are doing it I let them

I hate having a nothing-day also - if I hadn't had to go to the doctor today I would have stayed in bed all day - I was very glad and tired and I have a new book to read The Book Thief - I am enjoying this book

I know things were really tough in Germany during WW2 but this book is really something else - it gets into how tough and rough it was for the ordinary people

Great to chat again

Dec

Hi again @Decadian

I am just going to try and put it behind me obviously she has sort of problem and I don't have to understand. For me when I was bullied at the time I was very young and not going to go into details what happen but in recent years people have spoken more about their stories of being bullied and I can understand why some young people & adults take their lives because of what trauma they have been through because of being bullied.

I think being in year 7 and that was the age I was bullied - it was not about them liking me then but about me feeling so much shame from how they where harassing and bulling me. I took all of what they said to heart and bottled it up inside. From this trauma I have felt comfortable in groups of people. I was only 11 years old when I was bullied if I was older it may not have had the same affect I don't know.

Up until I was bullied I loved school and I did really well in sports and I had really great brothers, Pop and parents too- I was very much loved. But in saying that all familes have their problems and challenges. In more recent time I don't care if people like me or not either. I am quite comfortable in my own skin.I think it would be beneficial to start a thread perhaps on bullying because talking about this actually lifts the shame. I don't know why but it does and especially when people are taken seriously and validated.

I am sorry you had such difficult relationship with your mother and I honesty don't know what to say but I do understand how much that would have hurt you. I also understand why you don't care about that too.We had problems in my family too when people married into the family and that caused me a lot of distress because it was such a diffcult relationship..

You inspire me @Decadian and to keep moving forward.....

I also have a strong german hertiage from my mothers family and my Dad is strong scottish hertiage and I also have great grandparents that where born in New York.

It was great chatting to you too.....................................

Nik (Oceangirl73)

My grandmother was an Austrian-Scottish mix @oceangirl .... 😊

To carry on from our previous conversation ...

My D3 was bullied because she had moved into a "cross-over" English dialect while we were living overseas .... often called "broken English" by people who don't realise that there are whole communities of people who speak exactly the same dialect, because it develops the same way, as an independent "branching" language let's say .... and in all parts of the world where these two languages are spoken within the same community.

To put it into a simple context, you can move from Paris to Rome, town by town .... along the way, the people in towns or villages on either side of the town or village you are in will understand the dialect being spoken ... but somewhere on the journey you have moved from French into Italian .... who's dialect is "wrong" ?

D3 is also highly visual, highly creative, and lateral-thinking .... she sees the world through a different lense than many other people, and I am the same .... coupled with the dialect issue and differences in cultural experiences, that was enough for her to be treated appallingly !! Some of the kids in her class decided she was strange, started mocking her and being mean to her, and it escalated from there.

Then a little "frenemy" moved in .... a little girl who befriended her in order to control her with passive-aggressive behaviour, including deciding who she could talk to or not, waxing hot and cold with her for no apparent reason, and encouraging her to behave in ways that would unknowingly get her into trouble ....

The teacher issue occurred when a staff member decided D3 had a learning disability (when she had barely started school) and was determined to have her removed to an education support centre .... it then became that person's personal mission to fault-find with her and try to convince other staff that they didn't have to bother with her because she didn't belong in normal schooling and her mother was being stubborn about following professional advice. In her final year at that school, her teacher treated her like a "persona non grata" - someone who has no place being there .... that's when I really saw red, and took her out of school.

She graduated from an affiliated school at the end of last year, where she had been welcomed with open arms ... and I have known teachers from her first school to either cheer with pride, or flush with embarrassment when we have encountered them, according to the way they had treated her at the time.

"Success is the best antidote ...."

Her ability to function normally in her new school environment said everything about the way she shouldn't have been treated in the first ! And it all occurred within the same community, which was a blessing in a sense because it validated her, and this helped her to move on.

Do you mind if I respond tomorrow or should I say today - I better get some sleep I have to be up earlish to drop off car for servicing. Its just past 2am here and I have to be up by 8am. Btw thanks for sharing a drink with me @Faith-and-Hope

I hope MIL gets well soon. Catch ya tomorrow

Rest well @oceangirl

Catch you tomorrow ....

Goodnight

💗😴💤

Oh my gosh @Faith-and-Hope

I can't believe that would happen - I am just gobsmacked a child would do that to another child. May I ask how old that child was that was so toxic?But I am so glad she has moved on and done so well in her new school. It must have really impacted her to shut down like that- but I can understand why she did that.

It was good that she had her drama class that must have helped her immensely with what was happening at school and you would have know how good she was at home in any case. She is lucky that she had such a caring & supportive mum. You would have been really intune with her to pick up any subtle changes in her behaviour.

Thats why people should make up their own minds about anyone and not go on the say so of anyone else. All the other teachers should have stayed out of it. I do know teachers unfairly label children and that goes with them for the rest of their lives unless they are able to turn it around- I think incase its so unfiar and disadvantages many kids and often they are already disadvantaged but not always.

I have some exciting news my niece had a baby boy this morning- I will go meet him tomorrow.