I am struggling at the moment

@Appleblossom I'll get back to you too. Just needing time to power up and do some things. I may not get back to you until tomorrow.

S4 is talking tools to me as he is excited with his new job 😄

Hi @Appleblossom

Just checking in to see if you are okay.

I hear you !!

No worries @Former-Member I am alright with waiting. ... really ... on the forum .. even weeks later is fine ...

The word cherished .. is quite intense ..

Thanks @oceangirl Sorry you are not feeling good. Didnt realise you had a staffy .. .. bet she can put food away, but I love their stockiness..

I struggled to move away from formal study ... as it provided structure amid chaos... a comfort zone .. even if it was do it or bust .. it was a part of life with clear parameters and criteria .. where other parts of life were not ...

maybe you need to be more wholistic ... about your needs ... bring in other parts of your personality than cerebral or sporty ... if you believe and have faith that the hospital experience will help .. I am sure there are good possibilities .. we need to align our lives with the best opportunities for us .. and that may not be in academic situations .. ivory towers have more than glass ceilings ..

I hope volunteering tomorrow goes well.

I havent started at the zoo yet .. still waiting for documentation to come through.

Cherish: to hold something / someone dear.

We all do that here, in our different "herds" @Appleblossom .....

and our herds mix and mingle with other ones ....

land we all both share and learn something ....

i am cherishing this space ....

💗🌸

OMG apple Kira can certainly put the food away aka food monster- she seems to be able to eat basically all day and not put on a ounce of weight. She is not really stocky either she more build like a pup still but she quite a big staffy but she also looks little- I think she will always be a pup at heart.

I have struggled the last few weeks and I am not coping too well atm. But I always bounce back. Volunteering last week was really good and I work with a great crew.

I am someone who does not have much chaos in my life my problem has always been that I care too much. I have always looked after everyone and put their needs first and since having my depression I have had to cut back so much of what I do. But in saying that I always push myself.

I wish I had some of your strength and resilience @Appleblossom.

@oceangirl

I think that it is a good time for you to get the help you need for now. It seems to be so helpful for you in the past and I know how much you've been battling over the past few months.

As for bullying as a child I know it stays with you for life. I haven't experienced it, I was too vague as a kid and too naive to know if someone was teasing me. However one of my sons had three years at primary school of intense bullying and it changed him forever. I know he has talked about it with his psychologist. It was so hard to live through with him as his mum as I felt his pain too. It took us moving house for it to stop for him. He didn't deserve it at all. Once he hit high school he was determined never to be bullied again and unfortunately went the other way for those horrible first couple of years and was the one to bully. As he got older he apologised and tried to make amends to the kids he hurt. It doesnt make it right but it shows how powerful bullying can be. I can imagine that if you haven't worked through this you would carry it still.

Im thinking of you. I know you are hurting lots now and I think you need to do whatever it takes to find some inner peace again and get back to working on the goals that you have. Sending heaps of healing hugs 💜🤗💐

@Former-Member Thank you so much for your message.

I am sorry to hear your son was bullied at school and how much it impacted him. I don't believe he meant to hurt the other kids and it shows great character to be able to apologise for his actions and to realize he was in the wrong. I know as his mum you would have felt his pain too and it would have been quite a diffcult time for you and your son.

I am going into hospital because I truly need some help and I know I get great care and support there. I am not travelling well and find it realy diffcult to reach out for help. I think I am getting worse and I have not felt this bad in years. But you seem to be growing and becoming more functional.

Goodluck with your appoitments this wk

@Faith-and-Hope I am so glad to hear D3 has recovered and has been able to move on. It shows how much strength and determination she has. I hope to do the same. I think the best advice I have ever been given is not to get revenge but to have a good life no truer words have been spoken I don't think.

I am hoping you are feeling better @Faith-and-Hope.

Feeling much better thanks @oceangirl .... 😊💕

I have a personal mantra that says "success is the best antidote ...."

You will recognise that it is a positive adaption to a more common one that takes revenge right out of it .... placing the emphasis on healing and moving forward.

My D3 has had very strong nurturing from her new school environment, the school counsellor, and from the ethics I was taught and could then teacher from my mother. I really wish she could have know my mum. She was only 3yo when we lost her .... but I have made sure all the kids grew up with an understanding of who their grandmother was, and the heritage of compassion and self-compassion she left with us.

Bitterness is a trap that I was caught in at one stage without even realising that is what was happening ... it woke me up to being able to put hurtful things, people, situations down and walking away from them, not allowing them to sit and simmer ..... then replace them with positve things, people, situations so the good experiences begin to far outweigh the bad ones on the balancing scale ..... it's a powerful tool.

Havent followed all the threads this afternoon. I have an inbox full of notifications now .... lol ... but I am going to sit down soon and go back through to find what I have missed. I think you are planning another hospital stay ?

❤️💕