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I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember23 July 2016, 6:06 pm AEST

I am struggling at the moment

I don't know why I am really writing this. There seems to be part of me which says that I need to pull my head in and do this alone and another part who so desperately wants to reach out for help. I am really struggling. I'm not coping at all. For much of the day I've thought about all the reasons to die and there are hundreds. There is also one reason to live that keeps me here. I can't let down my oldest son and cut out his trip of a lifetime. He would have to come home and pick up all the pieces for everyone. I keep telling myself I have to hold on until he comes back and then I can let go but this keeps me waiting to die not choosing to live. I have a cold sore that now goes from the corner of my eye the length of my nose and it's slowly creeping across my face from stress. It started on Wednesday and each morning I wake to find more of my face engulfed by it. I am so tired. I am so sorry to write this and I know I'm so lucky to have friends on here that care. I don't want anyone to have to deal with this as it is so depressing so I started this thread as a way of saying that I'm not well when writing here and please don't feel obliged to read or respond.

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In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor25 Jan 2017, 5:57 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Hold onto hope and faith in the moment @Former-Member .... sometimes being turned down in one direction sends us in another that turns out to be the best thing ever .....

Wait and see ....

🌷💜

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

utopiaSenior Contributor25 Jan 2017, 6:19 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

@Former-Member @Change123. When I went to The Melbourne Clinic last year - they had no bin in the bathroom for sanitary products. Not only did I have my period while there, but they put me on blood thinners - but I have stress incontinence. You'd think I was the first person ever with a period - the way the two wards carried on. Seriously - surrounded by women & you'd swear I asked for a gun.

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor25 Jan 2017, 6:26 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

@utopia

Wow ....‼️

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember25 Jan 2017, 9:20 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

It was a really beautiful post to me this morning @Former-Member and it was not too deep at all, more like inspiring. I sometimes think it's harder when you have a break in the weather and start to feel somewhere on the normal scale and then it hits and takes your feet out from under you and it is so hard to find up again. I think I've managed to find up against the odds. Well maybe not up but somewhere ok. And I think you are right in that we have to speak our truth on the forum because it's really the only place we can. I hope you are travelling ok. I have very much struggled on the forum since Christmas and feel like I've missed supporting many here. I hope to work out how to change that. Sending hugs 💜🤗💐

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor27 Jan 2017, 1:39 am AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Hi @Pepsimax .....

Thinking of you while you're in a struggle time ....

If you're having trouble sleeping, I am still up and about for a while I'm this different time zone ....

Can keep you company for a bit.

💜🌷

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

DecadianSenior Contributor27 Jan 2017, 10:46 am AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

@utopia wrote:
@Former-Member @Change123. When I went to The Melbourne Clinic last year - they had no bin in the bathroom for sanitary products. Not only did I have my period while there, but they put me on blood thinners - but I have stress incontinence. You'd think I was the first person ever with a period - the way the two wards carried on. Seriously - surrounded by women & you'd swear I asked for a gun.

Eeekkk @utopia

That is seriously weird!!

If you had flushed some of that stuff there would have been more than just a minor inconvenience of dealing with a few feminine hygiene products which almost every woman has for part of her life

Seriously strange and peculiar - and then someone is probably thinking you were to up to sometihing really bizarre - gosh - you can talk to most men about periods now -

Dec

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

utopiaSenior Contributor27 Jan 2017, 12:52 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

@Decadian. It took 8 hours the first day to get a bin - without a lid. And I was in a share room.
The final week when they moved me to a different ward - they needed my room - it took 6 hours.
I put in a written complaint after the first incident. Didn't bother the second time.

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember27 Jan 2017, 1:00 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

That's pretty jaw dropping @utopia. How can that happen in this era? Jumping off soapbox now

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

utopiaSenior Contributor27 Jan 2017, 7:01 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

@Former-Member @Decadian. I think it happened for a few reasons.
Our ward was close to the eating disorders area - they shared the same ward.
Lots of young women take the pill and skip the sugar tablets - so they don't get a period. It's more common than not now.
And maybe they thought I was too old to havea period! Even though I told them I did & Ihave inincontinence.
Luckily - even with feeling at my worse - I can stand up for myself - a little.

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

DecadianSenior Contributor29 Jan 2017, 10:08 am AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Hi @utopia

There is a health issue about feminine hygiene products - one needs to have a bin with a lid - oh shikes

I had a hysterectomy just before my 43 birthday - and dd was told her had been on the pill too long and it was time for her to try another form of birth control - and her comment was that she wouldn't have her periods much longer.

She was shocked that my mother had her last period when she was 51 - and I am sure there are women who go on much longer - but I tend to forget about it

Oh yes - I forgot - women with eating disorders can fail to have their periods as well - so maybe that was a surprise for the staff

Hells bells - it is normal - and for most women healthy - often it is a relief - sometimes a horrible disappointment - to have a period but

Women have periods - I had a friend who was mtf trans - I was curious and asked and she was relieved - no - she didn't have that

It talkes all kinds Utopia - and it really mames me wonder a lot about not having closed bins for health and privacy

Sad yeah

Dec

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