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Feeling Lonely

supportneededCasual Contributor21 July 2016, 5:14 pm AEST

Feeling Lonely

I'm 25 years old and I'm living in a small country town away from my family for work purposes. I have lived here for a while now and have fitted into the community and made some great friends.

For some reason I am feeling extremely lonely at the moment. I am having trouble sleeping and I think it may be because of my loneliness. I feel silly because I am very lucky as I have a great family who I miss everyday.

I am not in a relationship and have been single for a very long time. My confidence continues to be battered as I feel that I have not been good enough for men that I have being involved with and I am now asking myself what is wrong with me?

Just looking for someone to chat to.

27 replies

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In response to: Feeling Lonely

utopiaSenior Contributor21 July 2016, 5:37 pm AEST

Re: Feeling Lonely

I'm sorry you are feeling so lonely @supportneeded. It can be hard when you move away from family and friends. And we have all felt lonely in a crowd.
Unfortunately while you are feeling down, your negative self talk will be getting louder. Telling you you were not good enough for your previous partners. I wonder if you are able to turn that thought around and change it to something like 'they weren't the right one for me' or 'I am ready to find my equal'.
It can be very lonely without a partner. I've been single for over 8 years. And although I get lonely & would like to share my life with someone special - I'm not willing to settle for the wrong one.
Go and visit your family and friends when you can. Let your country friends know you are looking for Mr Right. They may just know of the right person.
In the meantime, do things you enjoy. Sport or art & craft. Music or dance.
I hope there are others who will join this talk who you can chat with.

In response to: Feeling Lonely

DeniseCasual Contributor21 July 2016, 7:18 pm AEST

Re: Feeling Lonely

Hi just joined I'm in a country town and suffering depression and anxiety been really bad for last 5 months long story short marriage break up moved in with my brother I'm isolated and lonely don't drive no friends and my brother has been away for 6 months and my family don't understand so no how you feel

In response to: Feeling Lonely

Unknown userMember21 July 2016, 7:35 pm AEST

Re: Feeling Lonely

Hello @supportneeded, welcome to the Forums. I'm glad that you found us. You've done so well to have connected with your new community and made some great friends. That's not easy to do.

If you're after someone to chat to, check out some of the places here where members just hang out and chat about their day. You'll find those threads in the Enjoying time with others section.

The night shift thread seems made for you particularly as you are having trouble sleeping. You can find it here. There are lots of regulars in there but once you start posting you'll find them incredibly welcoming and supportive.

It's tough to be experiencing so much self-doubt. They can be so undermining not just for your confidence but for future relationships. Maybe while you're still single is a good time to work on some positive mental health strategies? Apologies if this is unwanted advice but checking out books by David Burns and Russ Harris can provide some good tips. It's like future-proofing yourself against the effects of self-doubt to give your next relationship the best possible chance.

Great to have you here @supportneeded. Hope to see you around the Forums.

In response to: Feeling Lonely

MozomanSenior Contributor21 July 2016, 7:43 pm AEST

Re: Feeling Lonely

Please dont think there is anything weong with you, i am in a similar position and have found some like minded people who are all in the same position and over the past month, my similar issue is becomming clearer....i still have other issues to deal with but by just simply talking is a great first step

MoZoman

In response to: Feeling Lonely

MozomanSenior Contributor21 July 2016, 8:05 pm AEST

Re: Feeling Lonely

Try, as hard as this, to think of the positives in your life. My confidence aas completely shattered ( and thats another story for another time) but trying to think of positives, even if its just the smallest if things can help

I have come from a 10 year emotionally toxic relationship and whilst i am not where i want to be, thinking of small rhings each day has given some clarity to the debacle that has been my life

I dont know if any of that is of any use but i thought id share.

Feel free to chat ar any time

In response to: Feeling Lonely

DeniseCasual Contributor21 July 2016, 8:43 pm AEST

Re: Feeling Lonely

Thank you it's hard sometimes still miss my ex long time together but I miss company and people to talk to

In response to: Feeling Lonely

MozomanSenior Contributor21 July 2016, 9:00 pm AEST

Re: Feeling Lonely

Yes i understand i still miss my ex, and my two girls.... Its hard to find people who unerstand what you are going through and know when you may not want to talk about it, but will happily talk anout anything ( even something extremely noring!) - just to talk. Ive been lucky in the last couple of weeks to meet up with a couple of guys who have gone through similar scenarios so we can tell if either of us dont want to talk about THAT but do want to talk

Hope that makes sense

Feel free to chat away - i will talk under wet cement

In response to: Feeling Lonely

utopiaSenior Contributor21 July 2016, 9:02 pm AEST

Re: Feeling Lonely

@Mozoman. You are so right. It's hard but if you can think about some positive things you feel so much better. And the more you think of positive things, the more positive thoughts come into your mind. You are on the right path. Well done.
@Denise & @supportneeded I too moved from the city to a small town about 5 years ago. Best move I ever made. I love it here, but I still miss some things from the city. My childhood history is not in this town. So many memories and experiences that make me who I am were not created in this town. There are less available men in a small town. On the other hand, if I need help, someone in town is always ready to help. The people are friendly abd welcome us 'newbies'. My son has settled in so well. It is a great place to raise va kid.
Keep your eyes on the local paper. They let you know of events coming up. Volunteers needed. Clubs and groups. It's hard but sometimes you have to put yourself out there.

In response to: Feeling Lonely

MozomanSenior Contributor21 July 2016, 9:10 pm AEST

Re: Feeling Lonely

@utopia there is a song i keep playing by Joe Walsh (eagles) called one day at a time. Helps me on ly morning walks

In response to: Feeling Lonely

DeniseCasual Contributor21 July 2016, 9:25 pm AEST

Re: Feeling Lonely

I will check out that song I'm a big walking fan I walk twice a day bopping out to my music

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