5 Day Online Event! You Are Not Alone - Crisis Advice for Family, Friends & Carers

@Shaz51 in relation to working as a team I think there was a combination of factors that made a difference. First was me learning about mental health and realising I needed be his biggest supporter and he needed to see evidence that I was on his side and was there for him. Then there is the research that patients who are appropriately supported do better (I tried to emphasise that this is the case no matter what medical condition anyone has and that I appreciate mutual support such as him not buying foods that affect my reflux). I think too he recognised that he was not managing so well on his own. Needing support was a blow to his ego and I try to be as discreet as possible in relation to this especially outside of the medical setting.

Hi,

This is the first time I have joined a forum like this so all new to me. I am carer for both my adult son and husband who have mental health issues (depression and anxiety). I am also a shift worker in the health care industry. I have not been coping well myself recently and recognise I need to reach out and talk to some people. I have been reading lots of great posts, thanks to all sharing their experiences and tips.

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@Former-Member wrote:

@Shaz51 in relation to working as a team I think there was a combination of factors that made a difference.

Needing support was a blow to his ego and I try to be as discreet as possible in relation to this especially outside of the medical setting.

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This is interesting @Former-Member , especially about the discreet supporting. Thanks for sharing how it works for you as a team.

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@Blackie wrote:

I am carer for both my adult son and husband who have mental health issues (depression and anxiety). I am also a shift worker in the health care industry. I have not been coping well myself recently and recognise I need to reach out and talk to some people.

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Hi and welcome to the forums, @Blackie ! I hope you get a lot out of them. It's good you're seeking support for yourself, as it can't be easy, what you're coping with.

Feel free to look up topics in the search bar, or start your own thread for support if you like. If you want to reply to someone in particular, just type @ and click on their name in the drop-down box - that will send them a notification that you've replied to them.

And you're welcome to contribute to this thread event as well...it runs till Friday. 🙂

@Shaz51 That sounds super hard, no doubt. I always liked that quote "we can only meet people where they are at." I find that true for most relationships. Have you and Mr Shaz ever done a couples therapy session? They're pretty stellar if you get the right counsellor 🙂 How are you travelling today?

Hey @Blackie welcome to our forums! So awesome to have you here. Sounds like you have a bit to navigate with your husband and you son, most definitely you're welcome to start a disucssion about what you are going through and our community members can help to support you You can do so by clicking "New Discusssion" here.

Hey all @NatureLover @Blackie @Former-Member @frog @Shaz51 @Maggie and others reading along 🙂 We are at day three of our online event thread for SANE's new You Are Not Alone resource for Carers

Onto our discussion point for Day 3!

Self-care is continually revisited when caring for loved ones with mental health challenges. The reason being is, there’s a vicarious and often undetected burnout that can occur when we don’t look after ourselves in the process of caring.

Many of our carers have a routine with self-care, others can only do it sporadically. What has been the most helpful form of self-care when caring for someone with complex mental health? As an example, I have made a deal with myself to walk the beach alone at least three times a week to disengage from the day to day stressors of life. Keen to hear your strategies! And our wonderful guides too @NatureLover @Shaz51 & others...

You're lucky to live near a beach, @Former-Member !

What has been the most helpful form of self-care when caring for someone with complex mental health?

Some of my self care strategies are: Sitting in the sunshine, going for walks in nature, meditating, journalling, listening to music, reading, gardening, and going out to cafes with friends.

Also things like brushing my teeth, as I find that not brushing them is a sign that I'm depressed, when I think, “What's the point?” Also taking a shower, taking all my many tablets each day, making the bed, and keeping the bedroom tidy even if the rest of the house is a mess – that way I always have a clean and tidy space to retreat to.

When caring for my suicidal friend...sometimes I need to take a step back, and not message them for a day or so.

@Shaz51 - I know you always put others before yourself...but what are some of your self care tips?

Hello @NatureLover , @Former-Member , @Blackie , @Former-Member , @frog , @outlander , @eth

busy day today , but back home now with a nice cup of coffee

What has been the most helpful form of self-care when caring for someone with complex mental health?

Some of my self care strategies are: Sitting in the sunshine, going for walks in nature, reading magazines , gardening, and weekly cuppa with mum and aunty , cup of cooffee, a epsom salt bath

how are you going with self care strategies @Determined , @Smc , @Rosie , @Bezak482 , @Jay-e , @Faith-and-Hope , @Appleblossom , @Bunniekins , @Scoo , @FindingStrength , @Former-Member , @Sophie1 , @Carlachris

@Former-Member, @NatureLover , @Blackie , @Former-Member , @frog

Self-care for carers
1) Accepting the ups and downs of hope, hopelessness and hope again can enhance your wellbeing. Feelings pass, and your hope will return.

2) The stress of caring for someone in this situation is real and it’s okay to talk about it. Find people who allow you to discuss your thoughts and feelings honestly and without judgement.

3) Connect with people who have had the same experience.

Go with the supports that work for you, whether that is a peer support group or services in your local community, or online services like SANE’s Carers Forum and Help Centre.

4) Take time out for yourself. Whether you prefer exercise, reading a book or mindfulness exercises, it is important to give yourself a break.

5) You can keep healthy by exercising regularly (for example, going for a 30 minute walk each day), eating a nutritious diet, and sleeping well (aim for 7–9 hours a night).

6) Make and keep time to take care of your own needs — for example, getting to your GP for regular check-ups, meeting with friends and attending carer groups or network meetings.

7) Be clear about where your boundaries are and how much support you are able to give the person you care about. Make sure the level of support you provide doesn’t impact on your own mental health.