Greetings @HopefulWarrior
and others of the post @outlander @Trikarri @Tay @NatureLover and all who may come.
It looks like you have alot of good support here with some good points, I enjoy writing, it just seems to flow and pour out of me so i'm just going to allow that.
Never forget the presence, (not that it's something anyone could possibly forget because it always is the present), it's always the blank canvas to paint what we want and freedom out of any troubles.
Suffering (not pain) is only ever created by the mind going into past and future which neither exist right now, they are non-existential. You can't do the same shit over if you are aware of this truth.
Comparing with others is an interesting subject, comparing is closely connected to the word competition, sure, we've all done it at some stage or another in our lifetime, infact,
in order to be born on this world, we all have to win the ultimate competition which is the race against millions of other contestants to get to the egg, so in reality, we have all already won, and that is; the gift of life.
Competition can be in a healthy way too such as in sport or where friends can lift eachother up and push eachother past their limits with support and inspiration, for example; with gym partners or athletes.
We also see this play out from childhood with siblings, competing for the attention and love of the parents in many ways and forms.
Though, this doesn't mean that we all have to keep doing it once we have made it into this life.
The main thing to understand here is that none of us can compare with anyone, you are the best in the universe at being you and no one can ever beat that. You have never been before, in this unique form that you are and you will never come again in this exact same form, and that is precious, it is rarer than the rarest of gems, and each and every one of us shares that rarity and so we can all celebrate eachother, to validate and celebrate eachothers differences, this can allow for more respect and unity among Humans and for all life.
We are all unique and wonderful aspects of creation in our own ways, we all occupy a piece of the puzzle which together makes the whole picture, without you and each and every one of us the picture is incomplete.
There is a common saying that people have said which say's "no-one is perfect" or "everyone is perfectly imperfect" but i'd disagree with both and instead say that: Everyone IS Perfect, because to say that they aren't implies that there is another way for them to be other than the way they are, and the way that they were created to be, suggesting that what they are looking at is some kind of mistake, as though there's some kind of mistake in the artwork of God.
So it's their definition of perfect which needs re-examining, but we can also respect and acknowledge their viewpoint and playing the character of "the art critic".
For example, we could try to compare Messi with Ronaldo, two of the greatest footballers of all time, but it's impossible to compare them because they are both different beings, playing different roles, they are working with a different life, different physical and psychological dimensions, completely different energies, incomparable; yet all are part of creation.
Likewise, we could try to compare Messi to say... Gordon Ramsey the chef, or a chess player, a figure skater or even a fighter pilot, they are completely different beings, not necessarily by what they do (which is an extension of them), but by their unique expression of creation, no more or less than eachother, yes they have different talents and abilities, because they have a different calling in life, created for different purposes, on different paths and journeys, but the sun doesn't shine on one more than the other. Each has a place and all belong.
(I'm going to briefly dip much deeper now, so just ignore it if it doesn't resonate with you or you don't understand it.)
This is also why the idea of "equality" is very silly and an illusion because it's both impossible and completely unnecessary, it becomes quite hilarious actually to the awakened, because God doesn't need to be equal to itself/ourself.
Some may be on their 10,000th incarnation and others may have been all over the universe on their 10,000,000,000th incarnation, they may play different roles, but regardless, all belong to the same creation, one is no more or less than the other, all are worthy of their part and are precisely where they need to be.
My uncle died an alcoholic, but he'd always say "I ran my own race" and I think that's important to remember.
The origin of the type of unhealthy comparing that we see in society is very much the result of our programming through education systems, aswell as the influence of media and movies from Hollywood with the superficial attitudes and behaviours to be accepted and included by others, to "fit in" the mould just to be valued and respected.
Brainwashed with this false illusion that we are all suppose to live upto their superficial, limited and shallow image of what "cool" is, or "beauty" or "success", all because they said it's what it is.
The more awakened one becomes, the more one can see how insane most of humanity is, though it is improving now since 2020.
The best way to be in my experience is filling our own cup and investing in ourselves as you are no doubt finding out in your own way, becoming sufficient by our own nature so that then we can give to others effortlessly.
In my view, only then is any kind of relationship with other really going to be stable and worthwhile, because others will then come along who can support and reflect those new states of being in a sharing and a giving to eachother, rather than trying to extract the joy from eachother wanting them to fulfill us and trying to complete eachother, that never ends well.
There's no mistake about where you are now and it may appear like you are behind others, but you're exactly where you need to be otherwise you wouldn't be there. And there could be greater reasons for that which may not been seen just yet.
We may not see the things going on behind the scenes, but rest assured, there's a reason you're here on this world at this time and things are lining up for you how they need to at your own pace.
Many who go through what we have as lived experience takes many years and decades to transform and recover and could say that we have decades "missing", but internally for those of us who manage to transform that into our gift and wellness, we end up growing far more internally than what most will in a lifetime or several lifetimes.
Everything that most people do is in search of happiness one way or another, whether it's buying some chocolate or a new car or house or going on a holiday or getting married, it's all temporary states of joy and temporary fulfillment outside themselves which lasts only for a little while before they are chasing the next thing, but for us who go through transformation fully; we've already found what they will spend their whole life looking for, that we can be happy not because of anything in particular, or because of someone else, it's already here.
There is a saying "you need something to be unhappy, but you need nothing to be happy" (self-enquiry meditation to the "I AM" and holding no thought or character, carrying no weight, happiness is our natural state of being).
True happiness isn't an addition to the mind but rather a subtraction of all that is heavy,
it is when all the crap goes, and the happiness naturally sprouts from the deep.
That is true and incomparable happiness,
and that is sufficient.
Namaskaram,
Guiding_Light
