Feeling so isolated. Anyone else feeling the same?

Hello @Former-Member @utopia @hope77 @Jackie @pip

It does help if we have someone who relies on us to cope. In the long run we need to find life worth-while on its own terms and in that way we are all singles. I liked reading your posts ...

On the stroppy teens and driving in cars and having panic attacks ... I have a few stories to share ... we are getting through it ... but at 23 my son is learning to drive .. we went out today for a session ... he is very deliberately and analytically taking a long time over learning driving. Maybe it was necessary.

Today he quietly made little comments about my driving .. but then told me not to take it personally ... and I had to admit I can seem a lacksadiaical driver and that he is right to notice everything as he has to learn ... but I am not perfect ... we are getting a good conversation happening ... he also has his dad and his driving instructor to compare me with ... so in a way it is a win-win ... he will learn the best way for him. With driving a life-death occupation ... it is a good idea to take it seriously ... at least I dint have to worry he was out hooning around.

Sometimes I have to have 'no driving' days ... due to health or mental scatteredness or emtional jitteriness ... but if we take thing slowly when I am up to doing things .. .we get a lot done... and I am probably above average in safety and driving history.

it is an issue that others believe us .. and this where a lot of relationships come unstuck. My mother did not believe me when I told her I did not feel up to driving to a holiday spot and she rang and complained to my husband at work ... it was idiotic judgmental stupid interfering and dumb ... but she did not believe me ... when I was busy with 3 kids and had serious neck issues ... my husband said it was a problem ... and I never bothered him at work with a silly complaint about someone ... the truth was that my mother did not drive when she had teens at home ... she just bossed us around and sat on her laurels whilst we ran about in the big wide world with no real effective guidance from her only the "You Must Obey Me" and the 4 the commandment. She learned to drive well after I had left home. nor did she apply the 4 the commandment to me as a parent ...

I have needed a lot of distance to sort it all out in my head ... but it is worthwhile doing that work.

I have noticed other posters afraid that family and friends will judge them ... it is totally understandable that we can get ourselves up to perform for a peak event but cannot drop things and do everything on spec ...

blah blah .. just saying hi

Yes I think 16 is too young to drive and silly America has a lot to do with it.

Yet my son didnt get his permit til 21, so I was nagging him to get his act together and not rely on me ... its a balance and each person is unique.

I have a 16 year old piano student who is learning to drive and she low key sensible responsible and her family is well resourced and supportive ... so it works for her... but not all teens or parents are so lucky.

If you are feeling anxious and trying to mask it ... its a double whammy hard. Yes we mask a lot of anxiety as motherss .. but we also need split second reaction times when driving. Who is driving the need to learn is it her ...

I am glad now that my son took so long ... we are doing it properly now ... I am more relaxed he feels ready .. he knows I am not perfect and that he isnt perfect, but that road rules and responsiveness matters.

It has taken a long time to get to this point.

She asked to get her learners licence and asked to drive.
She hasn't asked lately, because she had a fright last time. Hubby had a fright, haha! And caused her to panic.
She is an ok driver. I'm just not good being in the car. 😂
She's very mature for her age and very sensible. She's lucky, I've been able to guide her in life. Teaching her about life by what I've learnt through my mistakes. If that makes sense. 😊
She's very open with me, thank goodness.
Life is tough for teenagers these days, I'm glad she can confide in me.

I didn't get my license until I was 19, @Appleblossom

It really does depend a lot on the individual. It sounds like you have a lovely relationship with your daughter. In the old days they went on about how it was terrible to teach driving to your kids, but now they realise that parents can also be the best teachers. I like the idea of them having to log up extra hours.

My son by-passed all that. He just wasnt interested til recently. I had my licence suspended for 6 months which was good as I was really tired of being a chauffeur for him and a friend ... it showed him that it might be worth learning ...

I didnt get my car licence til I was 25, though I had a motor bike licence from 18. I knew lots of people who did their own mechanics and it was a practical choice that I could actually afford a bike, whereas nobody in my immediate family had a licence or a car. I rode a bicycle from 21-25. My father never drove a car and died quite young. My mum got hers in her 50s, she died a couple of years ago. She probably really hated that I rode that bike as being a lady was very important to her. The good thing about it is that people showed me a lot about the road and practical stuff ... so I appreciated their help and attention ...

Hi there @Appleblossom 😀
I was just having a quick look on here before I go to sleep.
I hope you've had a good day.
I haven't been out today. Anyway it's late again.
Night night. 😴❤