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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Good night Izzy, Kimmy .. Sleep well beautifuls. @Former-Member . I have a big smile on my dial, at the thought of you licking the screen to taste @Lee82 's yummy looking birthday cake. 😄

Night all 💤😴

Emelia 💞

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Good night @Emelia8 hoping your day tomorrow is a good day for you. Sweet dreams my love

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member Good morning Dizzyizzy. Hoping you slept well last night and that today is beautiful for you. Love peaxx

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Dear @Former-Member

I hope Tinkerbell's @Anastasia magic fairy dust helped you to sleep last night. That and the taste of @Lee82 wonderful birthday cake. I only saw it on my mobile last night. Looking at it on my PC now ... no wonder little Kimmy was licking the screen! How enticing looking is that cake?

Anyway, I really hope each of you are having a reasonably good day today.

And you also @Bunniekins @Shaz51

Leaving these for you Izzy, for the fairy garden ... along with a big hug and much love.

Emelia 🤗💞

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Emelia8 Love to you sweetheart. Hope your day is going well for you. Love peaxxx

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Emelia8 how has your Monday been? Did you get up to much?

@Former-Member my love I am hoping you are ok and that you were able to get some decent sleep last night. Love you 3000

@Anastasia @Bunniekins @Shaz51 @outlander @Zoe7 @NatureLover @Sans911 @Eve7

hope you monday was kind to you and that you all found some light in your day. Love and hugs to all.

❤️💚💙💜🧡💛❤️

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Just letting you know that I am here for you babe if you want to talk or just hang out and talk :pile_of_poo:.

love ya babe

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Lee82 Hope you sleep well tonight. Love peaxxx

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Thank you pea. Doesn't look like sleep is coming for me anytime soon. I hope you are able to get a good night sleep beautiful

@Bunniekins

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Have I told you how wonderful you all are!!! The support, love and encouragement you all give me still blows my mind and makes my heart swell. Thank you for being amazing human beings. @Lee82 @Bunniekins @Emelia8 @Anastasia @Shaz51 @outlander @Zoe7 @Eve7 @Sans911

Things have been rough since I spoke with you all last night. Flashbacks are now happening all day not just at night. I was holding on tight the last piece of my femininity, my long hair but a recall of what happened with my client triggered the flashbacks and I couldnt handle the feeling of it on my head and having hubby touch me or my hair is sending me into meltdown. Now I have short hair a pixie cut I guess and while it has calmed me it's causing a lot of issues. There is not enough medication to calm me right now.

Another issue I have found out that my privacy here may have been compromised and I have a very unsafe feeling. There has been a feeling that someone may knows me ( irl )for a while now and posts here have coincided with texts and calls amd it makes me super uneasy. I know that I have shared way too much so I take responsibility for that. I have talked with the Sane team and am currently weighing up the options they have given me. I will let you know what I decide to do. I won't be leaving the site but I need to feel safe as well.

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