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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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@Former-Member Izzy xx

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Good morning my wonderful friend, I am hoping you for some rest last night amd are ready for your trip to the Sunshine Coast today. I have that best friend vibe churning this morning so as you can imagine I am a little worried and really don't want to start that worry tag game 😔 loving you always @Lee82

Good morning @Anastasia @Eve7 @Zoe7 @outlander @Sans911 @Maggie

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Hey beautiful. I'm so sorry I haven't been on. I was struggling a lot yesterday and last night. We went out for dinner with my cousin and aunt to an extremely busy restaurant and I was feeling super sensitive to the noise and I was hyper vigilant all night long. Feeling a little better this morning but still a little on edge.
How are you doing my love? How is your son going? Any word when he gets to go home?

love you to the moon and back gorgeous @Former-Member 💗

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Well my boy is in hospital for at least another week. He is not happy at all because he hasn't seen his doctor in four days and how the hell can he decide that when he hasn't seen him. I am drained, I can't see him, I can't talk to him as I know if he is angry then it will trigger me. So here I am texting every couple of hours because I can't but him before myself, I can't lockdown my reactions longer enough to have a verbal conversation with him. Tell me exactly what kind of mother I am? Fu**en useless kind of course. My son needs me and I am hiding like a coward

In response to: Re: Darkness

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Babe you are being way to hard on yourself. Yes your son needs you but he is in the best place right now. They will keep him safe. You must take some comfort in that. Also you are going through a damn hard time yourself. You are not like that because you want to be or because you don't care hun and I am sure he knows that. He is going through MH issues too so he will know and understand what it's like. You are still communicating with him and that's the important thing. Please go easy on yourself my love. I'm sure once he sees his doctor they will give him a better idea of when he is going home. Telling him one more week I would say is just an approximate time just to give him an idea. They did that to me too.
my heart hurts for you babe. I can't imagine what you are going through my love. Just know that I am here for you. I am virtually holding your hand. I wish I could be doing it IRL. It's so damn frustrating that I can't give you a big hug beautiful.
I love you so very very much. ❤️ @Former-Member

please take care of you hun.

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@Former-Member Thinking of you beautiful. Hoping you are ok.

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Thank you for supporting my posts hun.
@Former-Member

sending you all my love ❤️

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Sitting out on the balcony thinking of you my beautiful BFF. Love you 3000
@Former-Member 🐶💗🐬

@Bunniekins Hoping you are doing ok my friend. 🦋

@Anastasia hoping your feeling a little better hun

🌹❤️

@Zoe7 just want to let you know that you are special to me. 🎨

@Eve7 you are a wonderful friend hun. Hope you are doing ok. 🏝

@Emelia8 hope you are feeling well my friend and coping ok with everything you have got going on.

💐

@outlander sending you some hugs gorgeous.
🐎

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Thank you sweet @Lee82 So many special people here and all that mean so much to each of us ...we are pretty lucky to have each other, people that understand, support and encourage each other alongside 'gettin it' along the way. Lucky to know you Hon

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Good morning @Lee82 I hope you’re enjoying the sunny coast!

🤗💛🤗

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