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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

You had a massive day yesterday also @Lee82 Today should be a lot of fun too

I am about to head out to the chemist then visit my parents to see what needs to be done. If I am not too tired I will take a side trip to see my sister and cuddle Kitten. I won't stay long though as I still have things at home I need to do ...on top of the list is cleaning my rug from school so it dries over the next couple of days in the high temps we are expecting. I have already layed it out on a tarp and sprayed the dirtiest areas. My little carpet cleaner will take ages to clean it so I am going to borrow my Mum's - it is a bit bigger and more powerful. I really need a new one but will have to put that on my 'when I actually have money' list

Have a great day surrounded by water Hon - wish I was there with you all - I love water

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hey beautiful. So glad to hear that your son has accepted being in hospital hun. It will make things so much easier for him hun.
I know this week has been a crappy week for you babe hence why I want to be able to see you and hold your hand and give you a great big hug. 😢

I wish there was a way but I'm afraid if I try and make plans with you I will get into trouble.

we are off to wet n wild today to spend the day there as the sun has come out for us today.
sending you some strength hun and a great big hug.
love you to infinity and beyond.
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Enjoy your visits hun and I hope you get a cuddle with kitten. Sounds like another busy day for you. I hope there is something for you at the end of the day again. It is so lovely to hear about your little rewards.
oh I wish you could come with us too @Zoe7 we would have lots of fun on the water slides together.
take care of you. Sending you lots of hugs

❤️💙💜🧡💚

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Have a wonderful day @Lee82 You are an energiser bunny!!!

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Been to my parents' @Lee82 Did the vacuuming, cleaned the bathroom and watered the plants. I have some sewing to do for Mum as well but it is not urgent. I will do that later in the week then go back next weekend to do the same again for Mum. Also visited my sister and had plenty of cuddles with Kitten. Happy to be home now as I am very tired. Going to watch a little of the cricket then head back outside to do some more work.

Hope you are having plenty of watery fun and enjoying yourself

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

❤️🌷 @Lee82 🌷❤️

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I finally had a decent sleep and for the first time

in months it was actually in my bed. It's amazing what a decent sleep can do. I have been struggling a lot with new memories but I am not sure if they are a true event or my mind playing tricks on me. I will have to wait till Thursday to discuss it with one of my Nat's and hope in the mean time it doesn't get worse. Well that's if they don't extend our lockdown as I don't do well with the telly health calls. I am hoping to know in a few short hours weather my boy gets to come home today, I am not sure how I feel about it given that his father really doesn't take MH seriously. I am hoping to see him either way tonight again depending on lockdown situation.

I am hoping to be able to get back into my craft room amd actually do something today. Who ever reads this I hope you have an ok day amd the sun shines for you. Thank you all for being the amazing wonderfully supportive people you are. ❤️

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Good morning sweetheart, I am so glad you are enjoying yourself and your holiday. I am sure there are times you struggle but from what you are sharing it seems to be going relatively ok for you.

What is the family up to today? We had the sun out here for a good ten minutes and it was nice blue skies everywhere but now it's overcast and miserable again. 😢 Would you mind if I shot down to Melbourne and stole Boris 😂 he is such a handsome boy. My little Maltese is driving me nuts this morning, she is whingeing because I won't let her eat her cat brothers food!!! I promise you that she definitely doesn't need more food, even though we have had her for over ten years she still has the emotional baggage from her days on the puppy farm poor thing.

Well whatever you and yours boys are up to today I hope that you all have fun. When do you guys head back to Melbourne?

Love you 3000 to infinity and beyond Always @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

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Good morning @Former-Member 😊💕 How good to hear you got some decent sleep! I really does make such a difference. I hope your Boy gets to go home today, and that you get to see him. Hoping for good COVID numbers for QLD today too, which should enable the city to reopen.

Fantastic news ... back to your craft room. With no Chrismas presents left to do ... what will be your next project?

Really nice to see you feeling more like 'yourself' @Former-Member and also being more present here over the past few days. 💕

Shout out to @Lee82 ... your holiday sounds like its going great and I have no doubt the boys are having a thoroughly enjoyable time ... and I think perhaps you are too. 😊✔

@Bunniekins ... sending you lots of love my dear Pea. Miss you heaps. 💕

Emelia 💞

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Little worried my love. @Lee82

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