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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Former-Member 🌹🐶 💞

@Lee82 💗🌴 ✈

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

❤️🌷 @Lee82 🌷❤️

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I would really love that @Former-Member as I hate flying and get pretty ancxious about it. That is so beautiful of you.
We are leaving for the airport at 2 and so I still have a few things to do around here before we go.

how are you doing today my love? Any plans for the day? Have you spoken to your son today? How is he feeling?
love you always and forever

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hi @Lee82

I’m doing ok. My NY was crazy as we had a party here which went for all hours!!

The kids have only just taken the dance floor off the pool and now everything is back to “normal”.

Have a safe flight today and enjoy your holiday in Qld!

Looking forward to hearing from you when you arrive.

💙🏄🏻‍♂️💛🏄🏻‍♂️💙

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

No I haven't spoken to him today yet as I had a really bad night and I am not ready or able to hear how depressed he is. That is so very selfish of me I know, please don't tell me it's not because I am sure anyone reading this wouldn't do that to their kid.

I am happy to be here with you, I remember how you said you didn't like flying. Remember to have something to chew or suck for you and the boys during takeoff and landing it helps not to pop your ears. @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Thank you for the tag my friend @Former-Member

Yesterday we had 336 mm in 24 hours of rain

@Eve7 , @Lee82 , @Emelia8 , @Anastasia

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hi @Shaz51

That’s a lot of rain ☔️ we only had a few drops.

I understand @Former-Member so I’m sending a gentle hug.

💙🤗💙

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Yes lots of rain @Eve7

How is your day going xxx

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I can't take this, I can't handle any more stress. The hospital couldn't tell me anything and thought of calling his dad made me physically ill and after talking to the exh I was actually sick. I feel like I have failed to protect my kids, my girls don't want to be living with me and are only here because they can't afford to move out. Hubby is only here because of my mental health. How am I not meant to feel like this, my boy is in hospital against his will, my girls have both told me they don't want to be here and let's face it if my mental health didn't take a gaint dive down a black hole Hubby would be here. I don't understand life anymore, I don't understand how I missed all the events that lead to this. Feeling very vulnerable, and detached. Feeling the pull of that black hole again.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Oh @Former-Member I hear you hun.

I feel your pain, having been there myself I do understand.

So I am sending you gentle hugs and a listening ear or just company to sit with you.

Love and hugs my dear friend xox

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