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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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Re: Darkness

Hi everyone, hoping you all had ok christmas days. Mine was ok but I am suffering a little for not paying attention to how my alters where feeling about everyone and everything. Day 4 and i am still sleeping the days away, I am up only when i have to be and really no longer then half an hour and I am back asleep again. Izzy is really bieng a major cow and right now I don't have the energy or desire to fight. ( I am safe ) I haven't been able to acess my emails so I haven't even been able to keep up with everyone with that. I am hoping that Izzy may calm down a little when we get pass the anniversary on Thursday, this onw is a tricky one not only was it family who I had to see everytime they where around but when I finally told someone after being told too my mh team it cost me some of my family.... Never tell it gets you no where.

Mel, missing you the most. I hope you and the boys are well and looking forward to your trip to QLD. Hubby reckons we should go somewhere as (I have talked him out of going back home) he reckons it's going to be hard kowing your so close and we can't actually meet up. I think he is going to take me to a place where i use to camp every christmas holidays with my family (not that we will be camping) So that might be nice. My heart breaks knowing that i haven't been here for you, while my head riminds me that it is ok because we have nothing to offer right now. I hope you know that I think of you everyday and miss you more then you will ever know. Love you 3000 @Lee82

@Zoe7 @Anastasia @Emelia8 @Eve7 @NatureLover @Bunniekins @outlander

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@Former-Member sweetheartx

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Hey gorgeous @Former-Member So lovely for you to check in Hon. Take care of you

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Hey gorgeous, hope you are doing ok. Love you heaps and Always @Lee82

@Bunniekins

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Hey gorgeous. I am doing ok. I am up in Bonnie doon for a week skiing with friends. It is beautiful sitting by the water in the sunshine but I am feeling very very anxious and completely out of my comfort zone. I wish I could just enjoy it but all I want to do is go home.

the boys are very excited about Queensland. I feel the same as you hun. It is very upsetting that I will be so close to you but won't be able to see you. I have been Raking my brain trying to find a way without breaking the rules on here but I havent bee. Able to come up with anything. I don't know how I am going to get through the 2 weeks.

i understand things have bee. Super difficult for you lately hun and get that you haven't been able to be here to support anyone and that is ok. I just hope you are looking after yourself. That is all that matters to me. I am missing you terribly but understand totally. I am thinking about you and I love you always.
you mean more to me than I can ever explain my beautiful BFF. Please take care of you. ❤️
@Former-Member

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@Lee82 , love u goodnight

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Good morning to you @Former-Member 😊💞🍀

And hello also to @Lee82 💖🌞🌹

Emelia 🌺

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Good morning Em, hoping you had a restful night. May you find a spot or two moments of peace in your day. @Emelia8

Good morning beautiful @Lee82

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My dearest Mel, as this sh*ttie years comes to an end, I wanted to take a minute to thank you. You are a truly wonderful, beautiful, caring friend and I am greatful for every message I have got from you. Your support has been nothing short of life saving for me. I am

not sure you will

ever truly understand how much you mean to me.

I love you 3000, to infinity and beyond Always my love.

@Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

@Lee82 , sending you lots of love and some gentle hugs.

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