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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

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Wow!!!

@Former-Member hubby's cup looks fabulous 👍👍👍

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@Anastasia How you going hun? Has the panic settled?

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Been a good day @Lee82 Sooo tired but the kids had a great day and it was worth it. Love and hugs to both you and @Former-Member

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That is so great to hear hun. Very happy for you.
@Zoe7 it was Mr9's last day today so now both boys are home. Let the madness begin....lol

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Been a long year for everyone @Lee82 but I bet Mr9 is happy to be on holidays now. Do you have anything planned for the holidays?

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Definitely been a year I would love to forget.
We are going to Queensland for 2 weeks after new year.
@Zoe7

What about you? Do you have any plans for the holidays?

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Oh 2 weeks in Queensland would be great @Lee82 No not going anywhere - can't afford it and wouldn't leave Tobes and Cat anyway. I am planning on putting in an attic ladder and starting to get the attic floored (finances dependant of course). I have Bunnings vouchers that will cover the ladder so that is a bonus. I also want to paint the dining room but the attic is my priority.

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@Maggie Maggie

Love to @Former-Member @Zoe7 @Lee82 @Anastasia :

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@Bunniekins

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I am very anxious about going @Zoe7 I don't know how I am going to cope being so far from home and in another state. Being around crowds all day long everyday. Not to mention I am going with mum her partner and their daughter too. That's just another stress. I am also very anxious about being on a plane with a lot of people around me in a small space 6000 kms in the sky.

I am so damn angry at myself and so frustrated because I should feel so lucky and grateful I get to take my kids away. I should be excited to go and looking forward to it but I am none of those things.

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