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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

No need to be sorry hun as long as you are ok xxx @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I feel terrible. I was on my own and I didn't know what to do. I was ok for a while but then it just come over me so damn fast.
@Anastasia

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Like @Anastasia said no need to be sorry my love. Everyone here just wants you to be safe. So glad you made it home. Love you more than I can say. @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Thank you beautiful. I truly am sorry. I feel awful. I didn't know what to do. I got a little scared actually thought I was going to pass out on the side of the road.
how are you going?
@Former-Member

love you unconditionally gorgeous

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I am having a really bad day today as well Mel. It's just this time of year. I am hiding in my craft room with headphones on trying hard to ignore the world and my thoughts. What are you up to? @Lee82

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Oh my love I am so sorry to hear that. This time of the year really sucks. I am so sorry if I worried you before. You definitely didn't need that right now but you were the first person I thought of.
@Former-Member

wish I could be in your paint room with you right now in your safe place holding your hand.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

I am always worried about you my friend amd I worry about your other friends to, but we all would agree I definitely worry more about you. I am just glad I got to "talk" to you when you needed me at long last. @Lee82

So that support worker won't be keeping her job if hubby gets home early!!! She asked how I was feeling and of course I lied and then she wanted to know if I was ok to be alone as she had an friend turn up as she was leaving that she hadn't seen in ages and really want to go home to her. So I sent her on her way not even an hour into her shift here!!! If hubby is running late then all.

Last Friday and Saturday mornings I wrapped 62 Christmas presents and 59 of them where handmade by me!!! I still have another 18 to get done and then I can go back to just painting. This time of year we use to fake it big time, decorating and baking and hosting until we dropped. This year I just can't pretend, I have no energy for that. So I am working on hubby's gift at the moment it's going to take so long to weed 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ I will share so pictures to show you what I've been up too.

Hoping that everyone who is planning on celebrating Christmas is well prepared and for those like me who won't be I hope the holidays are not to hard for you. You guys are amazing and I would be listed without you all.

@Lee82 @Anastasia @Emelia8 @outlander @Zoe7 @Eve7 @Bunniekins @NatureLover @MDT @Shaz51 @Maggie @Snowie @Sans911 and because I can't remember what I ate for lunch I know I have forgotten some important people to me. Sorry guys.

First time my baby stayed still enough for D2 to use a Snapchat filter on her.

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Oh honey that is terrible of the support worker to do that. I hope that if hubby doesn't come home early that you will tell him what she did. That is extremely unprofessional and definitely so very wrong.
That is very very impressive my love to have made all those beautiful gifts. You are amazing. I am so very proud of you babe. They look unreal and I wish I could have one myself. 😉

pretending babe is a lot of work and takes a lot of energy. I know cause I have to do the same. Unfortunately or fortunately which ever way you look at it my boys are still too young to understand and so I have to put my Christmas mask on and try my best to get through it.
sending you gentle hugs my BFF. Loving you always and forever ❤️ @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Ohhh sitting with you my friend @Former-Member 😀♥️

Hello and hugs @Lee82 , @Anastasia , @Emelia8 , @outlander

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Hey @Shaz51 so lovely to see you hun.

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