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Something’s not right

Darkness

Darkness

Well it's been a hellish few weeks, I have fallen into the rabbit hole and there seems no escape this time. The darkness has come and it thicker than the fires of hell.

Things just don't seem to going right at all and my MH is just getting worse and worse. Not sleeping (afraid to sleep) not eating and not taking my meds. I know this doesn't help but why bother because when I am on them I either feel zone out or that they do nothing anyways. I didn't make it work today, got to the front and was physically sick and froze again. Crawled back into bed where I stayed untill I had an unexpected call.

My 3 main MH professional and I in a conference call, at the end of the call I was given a choice be sectioned or have my ex move back in temporarily to provide around the clock monitoring, this means for at least two weeks of him being here making sure I eat, take my meds and be present for all appointments and no SH. I am not happy about either option but because of teenager trauma in a MH hospital I am taking the ex.

I will not be as active as normal but I will check in. but like tonight, I may just support posts as I am struggling to even type this. So @Snowie @eth @Lee82 @Eden1919 @Purplerain @Lotusgirl amd anyone I missed I will be getting the care I need and will be safe. To some of the newest forum members please forgive me if it takes a bit for me to get back to you.

6906 replies

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@Lee82 Hey Lee82 good news is getting out :D. Try not to worry about it the pdocs wouldnt let you out if they felt you were not ready. Any plans to celebrate going home?xx

In response to: Darkness

Re: Darkness

Fur babies are going okay @Lee82 Cat has reacted well to her chemo meds and is doing well so far. Tobes is his usual gorgeous self - but has begun waking me up super early in the mornings which is not ideal.

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No plans really. Just hoping to be able to get back to normality as best I can and wait out the rest of the year as this time of the year is super super hard for me. Lots of terribly bad memories. Wish I could hibernate for 3 months. 😕

how have you been going miss pea

@Bunniekins

In response to: Re: Darkness

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Mmm...that's strange of that is completely out of the ordinary for him.
what about you hun? I noticed you didn't answer that part of the question so if you don't want to answer that is totally fine .
cant wait to give Boris some big hugs. Missing him so much.
@Zoe7 ❤️

In response to: Re: Darkness

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@Zoe7

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@Lee82 I hope that you are given the strength to endure the next few months. I know how hard that can be xxx. I am trapped Lee82 both physically and mentally. I hate being stuck due to my medical conditions. Threats by pdoc about sticking me in hospital if I go off my meds. Life is so dull too. Reality is a bore. Mania takes away the drudgery.xxx

In response to: Re: Darkness

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Yeah he has just started doing it in the last couple of weeks @Lee82 I hope it doesn't become a habit.

I am okay - had a pretty good day until I fell asleep on the couch - it wasn't at al restful so feeling really unsettled now. Got some more work to do though then meds and bed as soon as I can.

In response to: Darkness

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Hi @Lee82 ... lovely to see you. Good to hear you will likely be home Tues or Thurs.

My surgery went okay on Tuesday. Took a bit to recover from general anaesthetic, ie headache and sore throat from intubation. But through that now. Deep soreness from 2 large surgical incisions has set in over the past few days. But medical people keep reminding me that I have undergone major surgery, and this is to be expected. So ... I am getting just a bit better overall each day. Although it seems to be something different each day. Today its been bad nerve pain right down my left arm. Its painful and annoying, but manageable.

Got news early this morning too that my father in law died. Im really sad about this. And unfortunately, as he is in WA and we are in NSW, we will be unable to attend funeral. So yeah ... there is always something, isnt there.

Sending a loving hug to @Former-Member 💝 and waves to @Bunniekins @Anastasia @Snowie @NatureLover 👋

Emelia 🌷

In response to: Re: Darkness

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I am so sorry to hear that pea. I understand how you feel. It's catch 22. On meds and feel out of it and not yourself don't take meds and that could be dangerous. It always seems like there is no good solution. Frustrating I totally get it hun.
@Bunniekins

In response to: Re: Darkness

Re: Darkness

So sorry to hear your rest on the couch was not that at all. I hope you can get some peaceful sleep tonight hun ready for another week of school.
happy to hear that your fur babies are doing well health wise. Hope tobes settles down for you babe nothing worse then being woken up.
@Zoe7

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